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10 things I learned from my first 200 daygame cold approaches

Progress is not an illusion; it happens, but it is slow and invariably disappointing.

— George Orwell

Over the last few months, I have been going out and doing daygame approaches. Here are the ten things I learned from my first 200 cold approaches:

  1. Direct approaches work the best
    • As I talked about in my About Me page, the first book I read when I got serious about cold approaching was Roosh’s Day Bang. In the book, Roosh recommends an indirect approach where you open with a question (he recommends different questions based on the environment), and then start chatting from there. When I started my 100 approach challenge, I decided to do direct openers in order to help with approach anxiety. What I discovered was that direct approaches were much more effective when I was able to handle my approach anxiety better and be more confident when opening. Whenever I would open indirect I would have trouble making a man to woman connection, and often times the girl would excuse herself and leave before I could get a chance to make a direct statement of interest. In fact, I found direct openers so effective that they are pretty much the only opener I use now that I have more confidence in my cold approaching skills. I also discovered the London Daygame Model after doing around 100 or so direct approaches, and have used it to refine my direct cold approaching method. If you haven’t approached direct, give it a shot – you will love how effective it is!
  2. You can approach women anywhere
    • When I first started doing cold approach, I picked a couple of spots that Roosh mentioned in Day Bang such as the mall and grocery store and tried approaching there. However, most of the guys that run the London Daygame Model approach exclusively on the street. There is one problem for me with that approach: there just isn’t a street here that gets enough foot traffic for me to have enough targets. When I lived in Europe (and when I go back to visit family now), there are plenty of spots downtown that are great for cold approaching. But here in America? Unless you live in a city like NYC/Chicago/LA, you will have to find other venues to approach. Don’t get me wrong – I have done street approaches when I go to popular spots downtown and still do it from time to time. However, I have found out that you can approach women pretty much anywhere during the day – the mall, grocery stores, department stores, the bookstore, you name it. Some of the spots I have found most successful for me are malls, outdoor malls, grocery stores (goldmine), and department stores. And if you live on a college campus, take advantage of it and approach all the hotties you see walking around!
  3. Daygame cold approaching is hard
    • Most guys meet women through their social circle. They also don’t hit on strange women unless they are at a bar or a club and have already had a few drinks with their buddies. At that point, everyone thinks they are a pickup artist and can seduce any women they want. But approach hot girls consistently while sober during the daytime, whenever they see a girl they like? Most guys have never or almost never done it. And you know what? After doing 200 daygame approaches, I know why. My first cold approaches were awkward. I had approach anxiety, I was nervous, my heart was beating fast, and my emotions were overwhelming me, making it harder to focus on actually making the approach fun and engaging for both of us. It took me a while to even decide to approach when I first started out, and I missed talking to so many girls just because of my approach anxiety. But it does get better with time. Daygame is super hard at first and that is why men either don’t try it, or try it and struggle so much that they quit almost right away. Here’s the reward of daygame if you stick with it, though – once you have done enough sets, you will be able to walk up to a woman anytime, anywhere and meet her confidently. Without needing a friend to introduce you, without needing alcohol, without needing anything except yourself. That’s pretty powerful!
  4. London Daygame Model works
    • After I had done about 100 approaches or so, I found out about the London Daygame Model. As I mentioned in my About Me page, I started off my approaches by following GoodLookingLoser’s guide to just walk up to girls, say they are cute and go with basic talk from there. However, I would frequently freeze after the opener and not be able to come up with anything on my feet, or be too passive and wait for the girl to say something before I continued. The London Daygame Model helped my approaches immensely because I could follow up my opener with a stack. Once I stacked on either her ethnicity, her clothes, or an assumption about her job, it was a lot easier to get the girl to say something about my stack, which would then make it easier to continue the conversation. The Model is also helpful for beginners, as it isn’t overly complicated, but it does give you a guide to follow so you aren’t trying to improvise and think on your feet too much while still dealing with a lot of approach anxiety.
  5. Body language, voice tonality and eye contact will make or break you
    • Many guys are obsessed with pickup lines. They worry about the perfect thing to say to the woman they like. I know because there were times in my life where I believed saying the right thing would increase my success with women. Well, you know what? Sure, a clever line here and there could help you make a better connection with a woman you have opened. However, if you are the type of guy to worry about what to say to a woman and needs a step by step guide, then your words are irrelevant. Why is that, you ask? Because if you are worried about your words, your body language is probably not up to par. You probably avoid strong eye contact as to not appear “creepy”. You most likely talk way too fast and that gives away how nervous you are. Humans as species evolved to be more honest with their non-verbals than with their verbals, and women are much better at reading body language than men are. So instead of worrying about what to say, instead focus on how to say it. Fixing your body language, voice tonality and eye contact won’t happen overnight, and it is worth it to focus on them one by one so you can make consistent progress. Take it from me: working on those three non-verbals has made a huge difference in my game and the responses I get.
  6. Women love being approached in a confident way
    • If you haven’t spent the last few years in a cave, you are probably aware that Western society is trying its best to label a man doing what evolution intended – talking to strange women he finds attractive – “creepy”. The infamous Gilette commercial has a guy saying “Not cool, bro!” as his buddy is about to talk to a beautiful woman walking down the street. There are even guys on Internet forums who have tried doing cold approaches, and for whatever reason find it creepy. You wanna know what my experience has been? The exact opposite. Out of 200 approaches, only one woman has used the word “creepy”, and she was right – looking back on it, I was still relatively new to cold approaching and made a few mistakes during the approach. I told her mistakes were made and moved on. The positive reactions, however, are orders of magnitude more. I have had girls thank me for approaching them many times, even if they weren’t interested. I had a girl who sad she has a boyfriend but found me sexy, and she sat there debating whether to give me her phone number. I have had girls light up and carry the conversation for a bit. I have had girls who said they were married, but said that was the best thing that ever happened to them that day. Here is my advice: get enough approaches so your confidence in your skills goes up, and your interactions with women during cold approaches will get much better, even with the women who are not interested in you. And for the love of God, if you think what you are doing is creepy, then you are probably making it creepy. Approach with confidence and enjoy what a difference it makes!
  7. Cold approaching helps in other areas of your life
    • Most guys talk to strange women for one reason: they find her attractive and wanna fuck her. That is perfectly normal and has happened to our species for centuries. But I have also noticed something ever since I started doing daygame consistently: once you put yourself out there and play the seduction game, it has many side benefits. Big presentation in front of people at work? It doesn’t scare you as much as it used to once you have approached a woman who didn’t even know you exist, given her a compliment, talked to her for a few minutes, then had her give you her number. As I say, once you have talked to enough women and tried to sell them your dick, selling yourself in front of coworkers suddenly becomes much easier. Talking to strangers at random is also easier. Your conversation skills are constantly getting better, because you need them to get better in order to have more success at cold approaching. You have cool, random and weird stories to tell your friends – some of the rejections I have gotten are pretty hilarious. Once you realize you can go up to a girl you find attractive and make something happen despite your approach anxiety, you realize you can do anything you set your mind to. And that feels liberating and gives you confidence!
  8. It’s a numbers game – to an extent
    • The beautiful thing about cold approaching is that it’s up to you to make things happen. Generally speaking, the more women you approach, the better your chances are of finding the women that are a good fit for you. That is why you often hear that it’s a numbers game. I agree to an extent – the more women you approach, the better you get at approaching, which leads to more success in the long run. However, there is a small caveat I like to point out – if a total cold approaching newbie and a famous pickup artist (let’s pick Roy Walker for our example) are about to approach the same girl, who do you think would have a better chance? It goes without saying that Roy would have better odds at banging her, so the better you get at approaching the higher your percentage is. But even for Roy and PUAs who are as successful or more successful as him, it’s still a numbers game (he keeps a spreadsheet detailing his approach number, how many contacts he has gotten, dates, lays, etc. – I admire the dedication!) No matter who you are, you have to play the numbers game, you just get better at it as you improve.
  9. Rejection is better than regret
    • When I first started approaching, I let many women I found cute walk by me into the ether forever because of my approach anxiety. I could have gotten to 100 approaches so much quicker if I had opened every cute girl I saw. Even on days when I approached super cute women, I still went home wondering what would have happened if I opened the hotties I didn’t talk to. That made me realize something: I spent much more mental energy on the women I didn’t approach than on the women I did approach and rejected me. Once you get rejected, your mind is at ease because you know you went for it. When you don’t approach, however, your mind will keep wondering what would have happened if you did. And that is much worse than taking that ego hit and getting rejected. Over the last 50 approaches or so, I got to the point where I approached pretty much every hot girl I saw, and that felt much better and did tons for my self-confidence. Never reject yourself, fellas – that is the girl’s job!
  10. There is no silver bullet
    • It is possible that some guys can start cold approaching, do it a handful of times, and get into a LTR with a girl they enjoy being around. However, just like witg anything else, game takes time and dedication to get good. Overcoming approach anxiety takes time. Learning how to stack on your direct opener takes time. Calibrating to the girl’s reaction takes time. Learning when and how to kino takes time. Learning to have interesting conversation with girls so they don’t ghost you once they give your their number takes time. Feeling comfortable escalating takes time. One by one, all of those pieces will fall into place eventually given you are dedicated to approaching and learning from your mistakes. However, there is no silver bullet – you have to do the work, accept where you are at the moment and work hard to get ti where you want to be. For me, I want to get to a point where I have the confidence that I am able to open any girl I find attractive anywhere – bar, club, store, beach, train, wherever – and know that my game is solid enough to make something happen if she has any attraction at all towards me. Here’s my final tip: focus on overcoming your sticking points, be persistent and patient, and you will see results that most guys only dream of!

Remembrance of Things Past: My Top Lays Before Daygame Part II

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”

Soren Kierkegaard

Intro

My last post proved to be quite popular and longer than I thought it would be, so I decided to continue the theme and write this Part II describing some more of my pre-daygame lays. In this post, I will talk about three of my lays before I discovered the Red Pill as well, with the first one coming around 2013, and the other two around 2016-2017.

Stacy, the younger coworker

If you have already read Part I of this series, then you probably remember that I mentioned moving to a different state. I was still going to college and started working at a store in order to earn some living money. There were a lot of pretty girls that worked with me (I will mention a couple of them that I didn’t have sex with in a while) and I got along with all my coworkers, so the job was pretty fun. Stacy had started after I did, and I didn’t know that much about her at first. We barely talked for a bit and besides noticing her long brunette hair, she didn’t make much of an impression on me in the beginning. Eventually, we started flirting a bit as both of us were passing by or eating in the break room. She was a teenager at the time, 17 and working to make some money after school. As time went by, she kept flirting more and more with me, but that was fairly common, so I didn’t pay attention to it, I was more standoffish and kept teasing her. Then one day, I was joking with some customers as they were at the register, and she walked by and mentioned something to me (can’t even remember what it was), I responded, and then she wrote her number on a piece of paper and gave it to me. I remember the customers made a comment about it and I made some type of a joke about it, and Stacy laughed as she was walking away. This was my first hint that something might happen between us, and she had just died her hair blonde, which I must say suited her pretty well.

I did text her soon after, and she was responding enthusiastically. I suggested hanging out and going for a bite to eat, and she responded how much she would love that. Looking back on it, she had made up her mind about what she wanted and I had to make sure I don’t screw it up. But I didn’t know that back then. Long story short, I told her I would pick her up at her parents’ place, and she was excited about going out together. I had just worked out and I hadn’t had sex in a bit at that time, and when I arrived at her place, she told me she needed a couple of minutes so she asked me to come in, and told me her parents were gone. Stacy opened the door for me and I saw her wearing a sexy dress. Now this was something that I hadn’t done before I did it here, but luckily my brain was turned off – I just grabbed her in her dress and started making out with her. Looking back on it, having my brain pretty much off at that point helped me a lot – the move came off with a huge swagger and confidence, and she said something like “Oh my!” if I remember correctly. We never really made it out of that house – we started making out passionately, then she led me to her bedroom, and we ended up having sex a couple of times. After we were done, we talked for a bit, and the more I talked to her, the more I started to feel a weird vibe about her. This girl was 17, but something was telling me she was up to no good and full of shit. She also told me she was texting one of the other girls that worked with us, so I had a hunch that people at work might find out about this. Even though the sex was pretty good, when I went home at the end of the night I had this nagging feeling something was off. I was about to find out what it was pretty soon.

What happened to Stacy, you ask? We never hooked up again, even though she did tell me a couple of times at work that she was wearing vibrating panties that day (naughty girl, that Stacy!) I did try to push for stockroom sex, but that didn’t happen. It seems like none of my coworkers found out about us, or if they did they never mentioned anything about it to me in the time I worked there. Stacy was let go a couple of months after we hooked up after not showing up to work again, and then shortly after I kept hearing things from coworkers about her: apparently, she was hooked on drugs and would skip school and work to hang out with anyone who could hook her up with the good stuff. The more I heard about it, the more I was glad I wore a condom. My gut was right again: there was something off about that girl!

The funny thing is, when I look back on my time working there and the girls, the memory of Stacy isn’t that strong, even though we did hook up. There was another girl there – blonde, pretty tall, beautiful with a great body. The first day she walked in, I was like damn! So I had to introduce myself to her. We kept flirting with each other, and eventually she put up a note as we were talking at her counter. It said “Do you want to be my Valentine?” I had never gotten that before, so you wanna know what I said? I panicked and said I will probably have to work… Here I am, this beautiful girl asking me out, and I said that! Like the guys in Britain would say, total chode move. We never went out, and she is now married with a kid on the way. If I had a bit more game back then (to at least say yes to her Valentine date), who knows what would have happened between us?

There was also another girl – she was Southern, had worked for Hooters, and was a model. She was super shy but I could tell she liked me, and we kept finding excuses to talk to each other. Looking back on it, she made it easy for me to get her number, but all I did at one point was get her Facebook (can’t even remember how, maybe she even gave it to me without me asking. EDIT after writing this paragraph: I did look back through my Messenger profile out of curiosity and saw the first message from 2013 – yeah, she added me on FB, so she was the one that probably asked me for my Facebook. Also, I read through our message history quickly – holy crap, my game sucked. I am disgusted by some of the things I wrote back then. I am also disgusted by how many signals she was giving me on Messenger, and how somehow I escalated and pushed to hang out at the wrong times every single time). I was in Europe for about a month one summer and she kept hitting me up, wanting to talk about my pictures. One thing led to another and she told me she can’t wait for me to be back, so we can drink some wine together. I was pretty optimistic, but when I came back I couldn’t get her out, even though she still seemed to enjoy my attention, and one of my coworkers even told me she was asking about me when I wasn’t there. Looking back on it, my game wasn’t aggressive: I did initiate, but I felt like making a move on coworkers wasn’t good, so I just waited to see what would happen. These girls were definitely giving me signals, but I didn’t go for the number, and I didn’t go for the drink. Now that I think about it, it was super easy to do: there were plenty of times where we got off at night at the same time, and I could have asked both girls for a drink after work. But I didn’t. And that memory of my bad escalation is much stronger than the memory of me hooking up with Stacy. Funny how our minds work sometimes, isn’t it?

Sarah, the Ginger from Tinder

Once I moved to my current location for my job after graduating, I started to use online dating. I was in a relationship for about a year with a girl I met online, and after we broke up I was in a bad state of mind – relationship went downhill fast, and I had blamed myself for it, even thought looking back on it, I should have ended it sooner, and that breakup was actually blessing in disguise. You live and you learn. Shortly after that, I started using online dating again, and I started talking to a ginger girl who seemed to have a nice body on Tinder. Her name was Sarah and she was definitely invested in the early conversation, so I moved the conversation over to Snapchat. She lived around 45 mins away from me, but was always very quick to respond to my Snaps. One thing led to another, and we were trading nudes fairly frequently. We kept chatting and talking about meeting each other, but I was working and she was going to school and working, so I believe it took us a couple of weeks before we had something set up. Throughout that time, we kept sending pics so there was never a reason for me to believe we wouldn’t meet. She told me she really liked rough sex so we talked about how much we are going to have, and I told her I will spank her ass red and use her for my pleasure. She loved it and eventually, we setup a day when she would come over to my place. There was no pretending, and this girl knew exactly what she wanted and what she came over for. She was shorter than me, beautiful long red hair, huge ass for her frame, and perky little tits. I put her over my knee and spanked her hard until I made her ass red, using baby oil to make it shinier. She also loved giving blowjobs and I facefucked her! We also ended up having sex a few times, including once in my shower. She was insatiable and both of us had a great time, and when I sent her home next morning she told me she would come back. Funny story: she told me on the phone her roommate apparently saw how red her ass was when she wearing shorts and asked her about it, and she got shy and made up some story, rather than tell her she hooked up with a guy. Her roommate probably knew though, girls are smart when it comes to shit like that. We kept in touch but I went to Europe for a few weeks in the summer shortly after we met, and then we stopped talking and we never met up again. This hookup did enforce in my mind how much women love being dominated, and I was definitely a different guy from the story described above: I was more comfortable being rough in bed and going after what I want, which I believe was enforced by paying more attention to my workout routine and nutrition with every passing year.

Ciara, the blonde with a huge ass who had a boyfriend

This story is one of my favorites (it happened a couple years ago), because it shows me how far I had come. I went from having girls who were definitely into me making it easy for me and I still managed to screw it up somehow, to being able to intelligently tell that a girl was into me even though she had a boyfriend, and have enough game and confidence to seduce her and kept her attracted to me to the point where she would rather talk to me on the phone than her boyfriend. It’s an interesting story of how we first started talking too, so let’s dive into it!

I was hanging out with a friend of mine who had just bought a house, and we got talking. He was a nice guy and makes good money, but he is the super shy type of guy who never gets laid. He was talking to me about online apps, and told me about a confessions app he was on for a few days and showed it to me. It looked interesting enough and sparked my curiosity so I decided to download it and see what it was about. I read some of the confessions and it was interesting to see what girls would admit: lots of red pill truths on there too. There was a Nearby section, and one girl was saying how she was super mean. I followed up on that and her responses were pretty long, so I was interested to see what she looks like. She did send me a picture and then I sent her a pic of me, since she looked good. She was a blonde with green eyes, looked pretty cute from that initial pic. Then, she asked for a pic of me and as I sent her one, she told me “Well, I have a better pic than that” referring to her original pic. She then send me a couple pics, including one of her licking one of those penis lollipops you buy at Spencers. Alright then, it was on! Shortly after, we transferred to Snap, and before you know it, she sent me a pic of her ass too. I had to do a double take on that: she had a huge white ass, it looked too big for her waist and frame in general. I knew what I had to do. I found out she was 19 about to turn 20, she told me she had a boyfriend but didn’t seem too enthusiastic about it. At one point, we started talking on the phone, and I was able to quickly get things sexual on the phone and she loved it. I found out she was a preacher’s daughter too, and teased her about being a rebel and naughty. Soon after, she kept calling me almost every day, and things kept progressing to where I told her to come down and see me (she lived about 30 mins north).

With work and living with her boyfriend, it took me a while to get her to do that, and she kept saying she was shy, but I could tell by her voice she wanted to do it, she just needed someone to be forceful enough to get her to do it. She also loved when I told her what to do on the phone, and loved to tease me, knowing she would submit to me anyway in the end. Eventually, she made the drive and we went to an amusement park. Apparently, she told her boyfriend she was going with a girlfriend of hers. You probably can figure out what happened – we kept going on rides, she was holding onto me at times, we made out, and then after a couple of hours we went back to my place. I loved spanking that big ass of hers and doing her doggy, and she loved giving me blowjobs and being submissive. She loved being told what to do and obeying, I loved her youthful energy. At one point, her boyfriend called and Ciara answered. For whatever reason, I was super horny at that time, and as she was talking to him, I put my cock in her hand and had her jerk me off as she was on the phone. She was into it and then I told her “You loved it, didn’t you?” when she hung up. She did. I was proud of how long I had come and how sexual I was now, to the point of doing something like that ad hoc with the idea coming to my head at that moment.

She went home that night, but we kept talking on the phone. It went to the point where she would take a walk at night when her boyfriend was playing video games so she could talk to me. She started to open up to me and tell me she loved how I treated her, and how I would tell her what to do: her boyfriend wasn’t like that at all. Her cousin was the only one she told about me, and she loved having that secret. Ciara did come over a few more times to my place, and each time we kept doing more and more, and she would submit to me and do as I say each time. I must say, it’s a glorious experience: having a young sexy teen girl at your apartment, and having her do everything as you say. I think it’s something every guy should experience. That was the first girl that I made call me daddy, and she loved it. I must say I enjoyed that a lot more than I thought too, and I still make younger girls call me that when the mood is all sexual. Ciara would make the drive to see me whenever she could, and one time as we were laying down after sex she even called her boyfriend to tell him she was staying with her cousin – and her cousin, who was apparently a huge slut, would back her on everything. We fucked a lot that night, and I kept thinking how guys really need to see this side of women to know why you should always improve as a men – she was joyful, sexual, submissive, craving me without any pretending. I didn’t know anyone she knew, and no one except her cousin would know about me ever. She loved that anonymity and loved the sexual energy we had together.

What happened to Ciara? She broke up with that boyfriend a couple months after (huge surprise, right?) and started dating someone else, and as we kept talking I could tell she was into the new guy more and wasn’t into me as much, so I backed off a bit for a few months. That worked and she snapped me as soon as they broke up, and she came over again. That was the last time I would end up seeing her though – I discovered she deleted me off Snap when I came back from Europe after a few months had passed. I thought I knew what happened, but a few months later I got curious and called her. She told me she was pregnant and in a serious relationship with a guy, and that she couldn’t talk to me anymore. I understood and expected something like that – she did tell me that she had done things with me she hadn’t done with anyone, and I believed her. It was one of those beautiful sexual experiences that the younger me would never believe could happen. Opposites do attract – and if you as a guy get in touch with your dominant side, then submissive girls will do anything to please you once you get them attracted.

Conclusion

Originally, I intended all of this to be one blog post, but as I wrote about each girl, my mind kept remembering more details and it now looks like I will write a Part III as well. That will focus on some of my lays pre-daygame but after I found out about the Red Pill. Here’s a little preview: I will talk about one of my Tinder lays when I was on a work trip and had sex with a young college girl about 70-80 minutes after I sent her the first message on Tinder. Stay tuned for Part III!

Remembrance of Things Past: My Top Lays Before Daygame Part I

“Study the past if you would define the future.”

Confucius

Intro

This is a blog post I have wanted to write for a while. It was inspired by this post by Redpilldad, which describes his first pick-up lays before starting his blog. It got me thinking about my own lays before I started daygaming, and I realized that there are a lot of good stories I can write about: before starting daygame, I have had around 20-25 lays from social circle and doing online game for a few years. Looking back on some of them, I realize how little game I had in some instances, but it didn’t end up mattering: a lot of the time, as long as a girl is into you, you can mess up everything but escalating over time and you would still fuck her. That is something that I learned early – you have to shoot your shot and go for it, even if you think the girl is not there yet. Often times, especially if you are new to game, it will surprise you how soon a girl will fuck you if you lead her towards it. I will try to keep these in chronological order, as well as write down a few notes/observations about what made the lay interesting.

My first lay in America: the half Latina with a great ass

I am starting with this lay because it has so many great stories and lessons in it. Up to this point, the couple of lays I had were pretty usual teenage lays, super boring and nothing to write about. But this one was different: I was in college in the US, miles away from any family I had. I was working a part-time job to make ends meet, but I noticed I was getting attention from all the women there after I started. Looking back, it made sense – I was new and shiny. There weren’t too many Europeans in that part of the US, and I was young, ambitious and good-looking. I was skinny compared to the way I have build my physique by working out now, but even without being super fit I could tell girls were into me, and sometimes they were pretty open about it too. One of the girls, Carla, I had noticed as soon as I started: she was half Latina half white, pretty short brunette, but what made her great was that ass. She had a nice round ass, the type that made you want to grab it and have fun with it. She was super friendly and we worked together a lot, and I found out she had a boyfriend and two kids. In my mind back then, that meant she was off limits, but we would occasionally flirt and I could tell she liked me. Carla was a bit older than me – I was 19 at the time and she was 22.

There was another Mexican girl that worked with us, Jimena – she was my age (I am mentioning Jimena because she is very, very important to the story!) We went to the same college, and I could tell she liked me too. I had a lot of fun at my part-time job knowing it had nothing to do with my field and it was just a side job for money, and getting along with everyone made me popular: Jimena was also flirting with me when we worked together, but she also had a boyfriend – an Arabic dude who was super obsessed with her (he is also important to the story, as you will find out when I write about the next lay). I would see Jimena at school every once in a while and we would stop by and talk, and eventually we exchanged numbers and would text here and there.

Pretty soon, I started to work a lot with Carla, and we got to know each other better. I had just started to workout and was telling everyone how much I enjoyed it (even though looking back, I realize I was making a ton of rooking mistakes) and how good a workout made me feel. Carla would always laugh and flirt when I talked about the gym, and eventually she started telling me that her boyfriend was playing video games all the time. I was pretty cocky and made fun of it, and she loved every second of it. As we got closer, she even started mentioning how she thinks he watches porn a lot, because he wouldn’t want to have sex with her after she came back from work. I wanted to fuck her, but my game wasn’t that good and I had no idea what to do about the fact that she had a boyfriend, so flirting at work it was – I felt like she was off limits, even though I knew she was into me.

Going back to Jimena – eventually, she broke up with her boyfriend, and when we worked together we would flirt more and more. We started texting each other more, and eventually started hanging out at school – she introduced me to a couple of her Mexican friends as well (one was smoking hot!) At some point, he mentioned that her ex-boyfriend was a virgin and wanted to keep pure for her and marry her. I called him a loser with a smirk on my face, and she loved it. School was going well, and I was getting attention from multiple women – I felt good and it was showing. Jimena and I were hanging out together a lot, even though she hadn’t accepted my invitations to come back to my place (yet!)

Now here is the kicker (and I found this out later) -apparently, Jimena mentioned to Carla that we were hanging out, and apparently teased her about it, since she knew Carla liked me too. Carla lived a few houses away from the house I was renting at the time, and since I didn’t own a car sometimes she would give me a ride home when both of us got off work at the same time. A month or so before this had happened, she was dropping me off at my house and we just stayed in the car talking. We exchanged numbers in case I needed a ride, and I could tell that she was expecting something. But I didn’t have the game to pull it off: I kept thinking about her boyfriend and kids, and I didn’t pull the trigger.

What did Carla do once she found out Jimena was hanging out with me? Well, apparently Carla was super competitive behind her mask of being super sweet. She texted me one Friday night, asking me if I was off work – she worked earlier that day and knew roughly what time I was getting off. I told her I was at my house, and at that time I was also texting Jimena, who was asking me a bunch of questions trying to get to know me – at that point, having almost no game, I was happy she was giving me attention and things between us were progressing, but not too fast. And then, as I was texting both Carla and Jimena, Carla sent me something like this: “Can I come over so we can fuck?” I was like holy shit – I had never really gotten a message this forward from a girl before! I got two messages from Jimena right after that, and my inexperienced mind thought that somehow they were on it together… (as I said, later I found out Jimena made fun of Carla that she was winning my affections, and Carla did what she felt was right at the moment to win – she tried to fuck me). You wanna know what I did? I sent a text saying something like “come over and let’s talk”. Yes, I am serious. Then, she sent “not to talk, to fuck”. I am cringing just writing this, but long story short – Carla came over in a jacket with a super sexy night gown underneath, and once I saw her in it everything went smooth -I fucked her hard and she loved it, and I made sure to nail her doggy to spank and enjoy her magnificent ass. After fucking her for a bit, I asked her to suck my cock and I kid you not, she said “No! That cock is dirty, Jimena has sucked it already” Apparently fucking me was okay, but giving me a blowjob wasn’t because Carla thought I had already fucked Jimena – gotta love girl logic! I smiled and assured her she hadn’t, and then she had a huge smile on her face. She sucked my cock for a bit and then I sent her home after I came – she was super worried and told me she waited for her boyfriend to fall asleep and then immediately texted me to fuck – gotta give it to her, she did everything she could to fuck me, and I needed it, my rookie game wasn’t good enough to take the small chances I had with her. Next morning at work, she was super giggly and happy, and apparently her boyfriend was still sound asleep, having no idea what his girlfriend had just done. We became fuck buddies for a few months until I moved to a different state, and eventually she let me fuck her ass – I still remember how great I felt fucking her asshole doggie style and enjoying the awesome view. By the end of our romance, I did pretty much everything I wanted to her, and both of us loved it – she told me repeatedly she wasn’t getting it rough and long enough from her boyfriend, and she loved my passion and youth. We were a great match sexually and I learned a lot about women and feminine energy from her.

There were a lot of lessons learned from this one for my young 19-year old self:

  • Beautiful women compete for men. I could tell Carla liked me, but as soon as she found out that Jimena and I were hanging out more and more and Jimena bragged to her about it (apparently she was a bitch to Carla about it too, as Carla was telling me later after one of the times we fucked), so Carla decided to take matter into her hands and straight up offer to come to my place to fuck me. Even if your game isn’t smooth, having more than one woman compete for you can make it super easy for you to nail both
  • Don’t let your guard down – apparently, Carla’s boyfriend was the guy who had all the parties at his house during high school (she never went to college), and naturally they hooked up, as beautiful women are attracted to guys with high status. Then they had kids, and apparently her boyfriend was unemployed making some income by selling weed, but he played a lot of video games and apparently had no desire for sex with her most of the time, and I could tell she was frustrated by it when she was telling me about it. Having someone with a lot of sexual energy like me was welcome for her, and she loved how sexual I always was with her – she loved being treated like a sex object before returning home to her boyfriend and kids
  • Looks can be deceiving – I thought Carla was flirtatious, but I also thought she was a good girl who loved her boyfriend and kids and would never do something like that in a million years. Boy, how stupid was I! She loved rough sex, she loved anal, she loved giving me blowjobs – she just loved pleasing me in any way possible. One time I told her I wanna fuck her ass (before we had anal for the first time), she said no – then next time she came ready and told me I can fuck her ass today. Another time I teased her for not shaving her pussy and told her to come back clean shaven next time, and she did. If a woman is into you enough, she will do whatever you want just to please you

But What Happened to Jimena???

You are probably thinking to yourself – yes, he nailed Carla! But what about Jimena??? Well, long story short, I nailed Jimena too, and that story ended in a completely different way compared to how great everything was between Carla and I all the time until I moved to a different state. So let’s dive into it and see what happened between Jimena and I!

I could tell she was a bit shy about hanging out at my place after I suggested it in front of her friends. Both of her hot friends were shocked that I had the balls to ask that in front of them , as I could tell by their grins and looks at Jimena. Looking back on it, I failed to isolate before asking so I likely pushed sex back a bit with that move, but at the time I didn’t care, I was finally becoming more confident making moves quicker and not waiting for things to happen. Eventually, her brother would give me rides back to my house, and then we would end up falling asleep talking on the phone. I still hadn’t fucked her. Then, one day at work we were having lunch together and I mentioned once again that she should come over so we can hang out, and this time she actually said yes -I had gotten her warmed up to the idea. She had her brother drop her off at my place after work one day when I was off, and we hung out at my place. We fucked, but the sex wasn’t that passionate – even though on the surface we seemed like a great match, the passion and excitement I had every time Carla came over just wasn’t there (and yes, I was fucking Carla during this time too). Jimena and I kept going out for a few more weeks and fucking, but eventually we drifted apart and broke up on good terms – we still worked together and all was well, nothing was weird. Eventually, she went back to her ex, and I kept teasing her about it and making fun of him for waiting to have sex with her. Once I moved, apparently Carla couldn’t contain herself and told her that her and I were fucking for months – Jimena sent me an angry text that contained a pic with her current bf, mentioning how this is what true love is and how much of an asshole I was. I left that bitch on read, and we have never talked since then… (Same is true with Carla as well – once I moved, we haven’t contacted each other at all.)

Lessons Learned:

  • Sex is super important – on the surface, Jimena and I seemed like a much better match than Carla and I. Jimena was my age, educated, smart, ambitious, independent. Carla was older, not very smart, had a boyfriend and kids. But to this day, Carla remains one of the most passionate woman I have ever fucked – the sex was unbelievable each time, there was so much passion and attraction between us that both of us were loving pleasing each other. Jimena, on the other hand, was super boring in bed, and sex with her felt more like a chore to get over with than rough, passionate sex. No wonder we had to break up pretty quickly
  • Don’t be that guy – Jimena’s ex (and then current bf after we broke up) was a typical nice guy – Arabic, ton of money, but fat and virgin who loved her so much and put her on a pedestal, and wanted to marry her and then have sex with her. Jimena’s friends loved when I made fun of him and laughed a lot. Jimena looked at me like she upset when I made those jokes, but she had a smile on her face and loved that I had the balls to talk like that about her ex. Looking back on it, I am sure it turned her on and got her to fuck me quicker than anticipated, as she had only been with one guy prior to fucking me, and even though I felt like things between us progressed slowly, she was just one of those girls who wasn’t super sexual and made guys wait to sniff the pussy

But Wait, There’s More!

I just realized that I remember the lays above in more detail than I thought, and thus this blog post will likely become too long if I write about some of my other lays as part of this post as well. Stay tuned, part II of my lays before daygame will be coming soon!

Tinder Game: My Friend’s Experience As A Model

“In order to succeed, we must first believe that we can.”

Nikos Kazantzakis

Intro

I have been quite busy lately, and haven’t written a post on here in a couple of months. With work, working out, approaching, and hanging out with friends, there was a lot going on. But now with everything shutting down due to Corona, I have a bit more time to write. I was hanging out with a friend of mine who I hadn’t seen in a while. He is a model, and we were catching up about our lives, sharing stories that had happened to both of us. He told me about getting on Tinder as he had moved to a new city, and I was naturally curious so I asked him to share his experience. In many ways, I expected what I was about to hear, but it was also eye opening. I thought it was amusing that he was almost as amazed at my daygame stories as I was with some of his Tinder stories, but we will get to that soon. I have also started using Tinder over the last week due to almost everything shutting down around here, so I will share some of my experience as well towards the end of the article.

Tinder as a Male Model

To give you some context, my friend had done some modeling for a couple of years in both Europe and the US. He recently moved to a new city for work after getting out of a long-term relationship, so he had gone on Tinder and was on there for a few months. He told me he got over 100 matches in the first day he was on there, and often had girls messaging him first. I was wondering how some of those girls compared to the average girl I had daygamed, so I asked to take a look at some of his messages with his matches. It was quite interesting: there were very cute girls messaging him first, and he barely had to do much in order to get them to meet up with him. His game is basically a good looking guy game: he knows women want him, and he uses that to his advantage. Nothing fancy. There were girls basically making sexual comments about his pictures, playing along if he made sexual comments, offering him Snap/number right away, etc. Even though he was getting so many matches and with some really cute girls, he told me that some girls would still flake when it was time to meet up. Despite that, he showed me a few of the girls he had hooked up with while I was looking through his Tinder: depending on your taste, there were definitely some girls who could be considered 7’s and 8’s, maybe even 9’s.

Tinder in Detail

I shared that with him to get his thoughts: how online dating is conceived as not having top quality girls. What he then told me actually surprised me: he said that a lot of girls he works/has worked with have been on Tinder, but stay on there for a very short amount of time. Most of them are in LTRs and when they get on there, they are just overwhelmed with the attention. He told me of one of model friends who shared that she had 1000s of matches in just a day or two, and had to deactivate her account. I asked if she had hooked up with anyone from there, and while he said he was uncertain, she did tell him she had a couple of dates.

I thought about this after we had met up, and it makes sense: I think it’s a myth that really pretty girls don’t get on Tinder/Bumble. Nowadays it’s so ubiquitous that almost every girl has tried it at least once. However, the super pretty girls get so much attention so fast that they don’t stay for long. If you couple that with Tinder’s algorithm, then unless you are creme de la creme guy, you won’t even get shown to those girls. In fact, even if you are one of the top guys on Tinder, you might not get shown to them unless you pay. But there are 8s and 9s that get on Tinder and have sex on there: it’s just super hard to catch them with Tinder’s algorithm working against guys.

What I noticed about his profile

As a model, of course all his pictures were taken professionally, and it made a huge difference: whenever I had used Tinder, I have always used pictures taken with my phone. Even though most phones have good cameras nowadays, professional model photos will always blow those out of the water. As always, it’s online dating, so being good looking is paramount: my friend told me there was a week where he had a date every week with girls who were so happy that he went out with them that they were practically throwing themselves at him. His bio wasn’t anything special or eye catching, just mentioning he was a model. It seems like that was good enough for him. I did ask him if he felt like matches slowed down after a few days, and he did mention that was his experience as well: it was noticeable, but he was still getting enough matches with high quality girls.

I also saw some examples of pretty bad game: he was making small talk with girls at times, but the girls were hooking and asking him questions, at times even hinting at meeting up. He told me sometimes he would see a girl and feel like she wouldn’t be up for meeting a stranger so fast and assumed she would like to get to know a guy before going out for drinks. I knew he had always met his girls through modeling or social circle so I asked him how it felt to be online: he told me it felt unnatural and weird, like the girls only wanted him for his good looks and sometimes he would go on a date with a girl and end up being disappointed at how shallow she was and how little value she had to offer. He told me he hoped to find a girl he was interested in sooner, and that all of the girls hitting him up on Tinder was actually kind of tiring for him. I had known him for a while so that didn’t surprise me: he was actually a pretty introverted guy in his teens, and modelling changed him a bit but he is still a bit quieter and enjoys a small circle of friends.

As much as I was amazed by his success on Tinder (and how uncomfortable he seemed with it, almost as if he didn’t really care for it), he was equally as amazed with my daygame stories. I had just had my first instadate the week before we went for drinks to catch up (I still need to write a blog post about that story, coming soon!), and he was shocked that I had meet a girl at the mall, started talking to her, and a couple of minutes later we went for drinks together. I smiled and told him I wish I could have his success on Tinder. He told me he wishes he could go up to girls randomly and get them on dates right away. I told him for someone like him, that should be fairly easy to do. Both of us laughed and enjoyed the night together eventually talking about many other topics and catching up like old friends do when they haven’t seen each other. Since this was a couple of months ago, I am sure I have forgotten a couple of things that I noticed at the time, but the above is what I remember about going through his Tinder.

My Recent Experience on Tinder

As I mentioned in the beginning, I got back online reluctantly due to the recent pandemic and everything shutting down. I am nowhere near as good-looking as my model friend, and my pictures are all taken with my phone. However, I decided to post a couple of body pics on Tinder to see what would happen. While I am not getting too many matches, almost all of the girls I match with respond to my first message, and I have been experimenting with being sexual right off the bat. All the girls so far that seemed interested would flake when it came time to meet up: I am not sure if this is due to Corona, or if it would happen otherwise as well. Maybe a little bit of both. I also noticed that I still hate online dating: too much power is in the hands of the girls. I like being the hunter: seeing a girl I like and going up to her, being able to use body language, eye contact, and vocal tone to seduce her. Getting real-time feedback on my skills rather than hiding behind a screen.

How to setup a good Tinder profile

If you are thinking of getting online because day/night game is dead in most places nowadays, here are some suggestions based on everything I have noticed:

  • Take professional photos if possible. I was blown away how good the quality of my friend’s photos were compared to the ones I am using right now. It’s online dating, it makes a huge difference, and if you want the best results then taking your photos with a camera is necessary
  • Be good-looking. It’s online dating, so this is expected. However, I have photos in exotic places which were taken with my phone that girls love, and comment on all the time. If you are not super good-looking, then being adventurous and well-traveled in your pics is also a chick magnet.
  • Don’t expect too much. I can’t stress this enough. Most guys get depressed when they swipe because most of the girls they find attractive don’t swipe on them. I used to notice that happening to me as well, and I had to consciously change my attitude to make sure it doesn’t effect me mentally. Online is for practicing your text game and fast pulls. If a girl doesn’t wanna meet up after a few messages, she is only after your attention and validation. Move on to something better
  • Disable your notifications and don’t get addicted to the dopamine hit of messages/matches. Your time is valuable and you are a man in demand: don’t waste too much time swiping
  • At the end of the day, online dating should be used as a supplement to meeting girls in real life, and not as a crutch. I know times seem tough right now due to the pandemic, but use dating apps to try out your pictures/messages and see what response you get from girls. Remember: girls have all the power on Tinder, and unless you pay, most girls don’t even see your profile due to how many guys there are on dating apps. You are a commodity
  • The light at the end of the tunnel: doing online dating now makes me miss daygame that much more. I still go out a couple times a week and see if there is any sets at the grocery store while I shop during the pandemic, but there have been zero cute girls last week. I am excited to get back into talking to girls in person and starting to create a real connection with real women, rather than hide behind a screen with pictures and a bio.
  • Use online dating to amuse yourself: try new lines, funny and sexual openers, etc. Push for a meeting ASAP so you don’t spend too much validating princesses who were never gonna meet with anyone from online anyway
  • To sum up, online doesn’t give you the ability to work on yourself: to practice eye contact, body language, tone of voice, kino. Daygame and nightgame both give you that, and will get you much more comfortable with fast escalation than doing it thru your phone. So my verdict on online dating is: if you have professional pictures and are getting lots of matches and can get a few dates a week, keep doing it. If you are doing it because there are no other options right now, then do it and see what results you get. However, I do believe that as soon as the pandemic is over, most men will learn more and become better by doing daygame or nightgame. For 95% of guys, online dating will give miniscule returns. Especially in the USA!

Fixed vs. Growth Mindset: Does The Concept Apply To Cold Approach?

“Becoming is better than being”

Carol S. Dweck

Introduction

Over Christmas and New Years, I had a few days off work and I was visiting some family. I had a book with me as I traveled that I had wanted to read for a while – Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck. Some of you might be familiar with it: in the book, Dweck discusses fixed mindset and growth mindset, tells the reader what they are, and gives examples from sports, business and relationships that prove growth mindset leads to success, achievement and satisfaction, while the fixed mindset leads to unfulfilled potential and amazement with natural ability rather than progression. As I read that book, a thought popped into my head: “How are the mindsets applicable to cold approach and improving as a player?” In this post, I will describe what the fixed and growth mindset are, talk about examples of the mindsets in cold approach, and share my thoughts on actionable advice to take if you want to reach your potential as a player. Let’s dive into it!

What is the difference between the fixed mindset and the growth mindset?

Study the two images above. They describe the differences between the two mindsets in a visual, easy to contrast way. Here are quotes from the book to reinforce what the mindsets are, and how they differ from each other:

Fixed Mindset

“For twenty years, my research has shown that the view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life. It can determine whether you become the person you want to be and whether you accomplish the things you value. How does this happen? How can a simple belief have the power to transform your psychology and, as a result, your life?

Believing that your qualities are carved in stone — the fixed mindset — creates an urgency to prove yourself over and over. If you have only a certain amount of intelligence, a certain personality, and a certain moral character — well, then you’d better prove that you have a healthy dose of them. It simply wouldn’t do to look or feel deficient in these most basic characteristics.”

Growth Mindset

“There’s another mindset in which these traits are not simply a hand you’re dealt and have to live with, always trying to convince yourself and others that you have a royal flush when you’re secretly worried it’s a pair of tens. In this mindset, the hand you’re dealt is just the starting point for development. This growth mindset is based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts. Although people may differ in every which way — in their initial talents and aptitudes, interests, or temperaments — everyone can change and grow through application and experience.

Do people with this mindset believe that anyone can be anything, that anyone with proper motivation or education can become Einstein or Beethoven? No, but they believe that a person’s true potential is unknown (and unknowable); that it’s impossible to foresee what can be accomplished with years of passion, toil, and training.”

How does this apply to cold approach?

You are probably thinking to yourself “That’s an interesting concept, but how can I use this when I pickup chicks?” I was wondering the exact same thing after I finished the book, and have since consciously used the growth mindset to evolve my game and focus on becoming a better player. Have you ever thought or said any of the following things?

  • “I am not tall enough to have success with women”
  • “I am not having success with girls because I am not fit enough”
  • “A chick like that will never go for a guy like me because I am not good-looking enough”
  • “I can’t fuck hot blondes because I am Indian”
  • “She won’t like me because my cock is not ten inches”

Let’s be honest, everyone who has ever approached women consistently has experienced some form of approach anxiety, and has said some form of the statements above to justify not approaching. Well, guess what? Hopefully at this point you realize that all those statements that we use to weasel out of approaching hot chicks are fixed mindset statements: I am not good enough for her, so I shouldn’t bother her. In the fixed mindset world, you are either good enough or you are not, and your brain does a damn good job of sabotaging your success with women by telling you that you are not good enough (especially when you are a beginner overwhelmed with approach anxiety) and you should avoid approaching her because she won’t like you anyway. This mindset leads to lots of failure and frustration long-term.

How to apply growth mindset to approaching

Now, let’s look at these statements and compare them with the ones above:

  • “I didn’t get her number because my eye contact wasn’t strong enough”
  • “Even though I got her number, my body language wasn’t open enough, I can improve that”
  • “She rejected me because I didn’t speak with enough confidence”
  • “I got her on a date with me, but I didn’t sexualize the conversation often enough”

Can you see the difference? While the fixed mindset statements were that the player isn’t good enough, the growth mindset statements above basically all say the same thing: “I got rejected, but I could improve X. Even though I succeeded with that girl, I can still improve Y.” If you adopt this mindset, then no longer are your successes and failures defined by the girl and how she reacts to you. Success is defined by your own progress – if you go out and approach 10 women with the intent of holding stronger eye contact and you get no numbers, yet by the end of your daygame session you hold stronger eye contact, was your session a success? Absolutely! If you go out and approach 10 women with the intention of opening direct each time, yet you chicken out and do 5 indirect approaches but get three numbers which eventually all lead to bangs, was your session a success? No, it wasn’t, because you went out with the intent to make your direct openers stronger, yet you failed to do that.

I know what you’re thinking: “But I got laid three times, how is that not a success???” We as players are often too eager to define our happiness and success by the amount of numbers, dates and notches we get from approaching. Believe me, I am guilty as charged on that, and truthfully I am still working on overcoming that. By defining our success with dates and sex, we effectively subconsciously tell our brain “My happiness is based on whether random strangers will have sex with me. If they don’t, then I must not be good.” If that isn’t an example of fixed mindset, I don’t know what is. Instead, we should tell our brain “My happiness is based on whether or not I am making progress towards my goals. I wanna fuck hot bitches, and I need to improve my eye contact, body language, and dating model to achieve that.” Counterintuitively, if you ignore your number ratios and focus on improving your sticking points, then the amount of dates and sex you have will increase. As RPD told me on Twitter – “Process > results.

Actionable Advice On Growth Mindset

You might be wondering “How do I make sure that I apply growth mindset as a player to improve my game?” Firstly, chase away thoughts about you being not tall enough, not muscular enough, not “anything enough” for women. We all get them from time to time, but they are making it harder for you to get laid with women. You are a man and she is a woman, that is all the reason you need to approach. Am I saying that any guy can be a Casanova? Recall the quote from Dweck above – not anyone can become Einstein or Beethoven (or Casanova), but at the same time you don’t know what your true potential as a player is until you put in years of effort and thousands of approaches. Instead, leave your ego at the door and ask yourself what your sticking points are. Make a list of all of them and prioritize them. Then, pick the top one and focus on it for your next game session and keep going until you don’t think that is your biggest sticking point anymore. Then hit the next one on the list and go on.

For example, let’s say you have trouble holding eye contact with women you approach and that is your biggest sticking point. For your next daygaming session, focus on making sexual eye contact and holding it as you are in set until the girl looks away first. Remember: your session is a success as long as you have made progress on your goal, not as long as you get a number/date/instadate/bang.

Personal Example

I will give you an example from my own daygame sessions this year that show how I have been using the growth mindset to improve my skills as a player. As I said in this Tweet, I had a streak of 21 approaches without getting a single number this year. If this happened a few months ago when I was a total beginner, I probably would have told myself a bunch of the fixed mindset statements such as I wasn’t good enough, attractive enough, tall enough, etc. Instead, I kept my head up because I hit my targets in those sessions – I had some good sets with good stacks, which is what I was focused on. I had noticed that my stacks were getting quite predictable and I was using the same ones too much, so I wasn’t having as much fun when gaming. I improvised and got good reactions out of the girls and amused myself, so even though I didn’t get numbers for a while I knew I was on the right track. And as you can see in the Tweet, I got an instadate after 21 approaches with no numbers after basically talking to the girl for 2 minutes. Progress is not always linear, and if you focus on improving the skills necessary to take your game to the next level, then sooner or later you WILL reach your potential. It won’t be for a while and you will have to work hard for it though!

Summary

Fixed mindset is when we believe that we are either good at something or we aren’t, and there is little we can do about what we can’t do. On the contrary, growth mindset is when we accept the fact that our current level does not define us, and our true potential is unknown until we put in years of effort to improve. When it comes to cold approaching, focusing on what you can do and what you have to improve in your sessions will make you a better player, as opposed to focusing on what someone else can do or how the girl reacts. Give the growth mindset techniques described above a try, you will be surprised at how effective they are!

Field Report: The MILF Bikini Competitor

“Fall seven times and stand up eight.

Japanese Proverb

Intro

As you know from my previous field report, I was 3 approaches away from hitting my initial goal of 100 approaches. This is the last field report that talks about my last 3 approaches (one in particular), and at the end I will give my statistics for those first 100 approaches. I am thinking about doing a post about what I learned from those approaches soon, so stay tuned! Let’s dive right into the good stuff first though.

The Bikini Competitor

I walked into a department store on a Friday night after the gym, and almost as soon as I walked in I saw her. Latina MILF with an amazing body, she was wearing gym clothes and I could tell she had no bra on. Her ass looked great as well, I knew I had to approach. I felt a bit nervous but I knew I had to go for it, she was easily the hottest chick out of the first 100. She ended up in the kids section so I went over and she actually looked at me as I walked towards her and held eye contact, I smiled and opened her on whether she’s Colombian. She ended up being Latina, and she was very bubbly and had actually just gotten back from Europe, told me she was married with two kids. I had a IDGAF attitude while talking to her so I just nodded and kept talking about fitness and travel, while making sure to touch her while flirting. She started investing more and told me she had actually done bikini competitions and won every one that she participated in, and tried to get me to follow her on IG since she’s a personal trainer on there now. I told her I don’t do social media much and kept flirting and doing kino, she kept bringing up her husband but she was super flirty, and eventually she made a comment about my fitness and grabbed my biceps while I was doing light kino on her shoulder, it was on! I ended up grabbing her number and was ecstatic after that happened, but she ended up not responding. If that would have happened today, I would have recognized the opportunity I had and tried to get her to grab a drink with me that same night, since her husband and kids were still in Europe – but you live and you learn, I was still making great progress. Before I started approaching, I would have never approached a chick like that in a store, and now I was flirting with them, and they were touching me and giving me their numbers. Not bad for progress!

Other two approaches

The other two approaches that got me to 100? Nothing special, so I won’t even mention them here – I will save you and myself the time.

Summary

Alright, so when I first started I had horrible approach anxiety, could barely approach, and every approach felt like a struggle. After doing 100, I felt like I was finally able to stop being as nervous, and actually focus on the girl and the connection. Looking back on it now (as of today, I have 291 approaches), I still had a lot to learn and made a lot of mistakes, but I was at the point where I could open more consistently and generate some leads. Here are the final stats for my first 100 approaches:

  • Approaches: 100
  • Numbers: 11
  • Snapchat: 1
  • Dates: 2

Field Report: The Pakistani And The Gym Rat

“The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.”

FDR

The Pakistani

I was at my favorite grocery store on the weekend when I saw a dark-skinned girl I found attractive – my gut told me that she’s Latina. I opened her direct and she smiled right away, I stacked on her looks telling her that she looks Latina. She hooked and told me she’s Pakistani, then immediately asked about my accent and where I’m from. In my experience, that is usually a good sign, and I did what I always do: I made her guess. She had nothing, so I teased her about that and told her where I am from. The chat progressed from there, but she wasn’t investing too much in the conversation, and at that point in my daygame journey I still had trouble with calibration. I went for the number after a bit and she offered to take my number. Ouch! I refused and asked for her number, she said I put her on the spot – that was interesting to hear, but I was happy to have enforced my boundaries. She eventually said no and I told her it’s OK and kept moving on. I was happy to do the right thing – giving her my number and never hearing from her again is not my idea of a good time, if she liked me enough she would have given me her number.

Indirect Opener

Shortly after the Pakistani set, I saw a cute slim blonde picking out her pasta for the night. I went indirect and commented on how focused she was on picking her pasta, the conversation then went into generic bullshit. I didn’t have the chance to go direct as we were in a busy section of the store and she walked away before I could make the switch, she did smile when I saw her later, but I have a rule of not approaching a girl in the same session if she walked away. This set only made me more invested in approaching direct and showing intent right away, otherwise it can be hard to make the switch once the conversation develops and goes somewhere.

Chick with flowers

I was at the store for about an hour now, and I had done five approaches – it was a good day and lots of cute girls kept walking in. I saw a chick with flowers in her cart, and remembered what I had read on Redpilldad’s blog about an approach he did where he used the following line – “Why is a pretty girl like you buying her own flowers?” I think my delivery was off as I had to repeat the opener, then she said “Because I can!” and walked away. I don’t think I came across as playful enough here, but the girl also seemed a bit like a bitch.

The Gym Rat

I was almost ready to go home as I had done six approaches and gotten some good convo, but no numbers. I wasn’t really feeling it, but then I saw Alexis. She was cute and in her gym clothes, I had to approach. She smiled at me before opening, so I thought she liked me and I went direct. It turns out she was an intern and had been in the area for a couple of months, both of us had an interest in the gym and we chatted for a bit. She said she’s only in the area for another week when I went for the number close, then she said good to meet you and walked away. If I had a bit more experience here I would have probably pushed it a bit further, but back then I didn’t have the confidence to do so.

Summary

This session was interesting because my inner game wasn’t strong and I was questioning myself, yet I had a couple of good sets and some IOI’s. I got no numbers from seven approaches, but looking back on it I was cutting my conversations short and going for the number rather than staying for another few minutes and then number closing after establishing a better connection. You live and you learn! Next field report will detail my remaining three approaches I did to get to a hundred approaches, and I might even write about some of the lessons I learned from those first hundred approach anxiety ridden approaches. Stay tuned for more!

  • Approaches: 97
  • Numbers: 10
  • Snapchat: 1

Field Report: Grocery Store Game

“The real test is not whether you avoid this failure, because you won’t. It’s whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere.”

Barack Obama

Grocery Store Game

I noticed something at this stage in my daygame journey – I was having a decent amount of success in the grocery store after the gym. As I mentioned in my previous blog post, I also found a new grocery store that was full of cute women, so I was excited to game there and get some sets in. I will talk about some of the more interesting sets I did over a one-week period in this field report.

The Blonde Who Was Flattered

I approached a blonde with green eyes who was dressed in all black, teased her about it and got into a good conversation with her. She was very flattered that I opened her direct and her eyes went real big, she repeated that she was flattered a few times during the set. I think I made the mistake of talking too much and not making the set more about her, but overall it was good practice and I was able to tease her a bit. She said she was kinda seeing someone when I went for the number close – I let her go, but if this set would have happened today, I would have pushed a bit more. Back then, I didn’t have the experience yet to know when to let them go and when the boyfriend is genuine, but I am always learning!

The blonde I had to approach

Sometimes, you see a girl that is so your type that all approach anxiety goes away and your legs walk towards her on their own. Well, this happened to me shortly after I did the set above. I saw a tall blonde and gave chase, caught up to her in one of the aisles. Opened direct and she liked it, good talk about music festivals and I made sure to tease her a bit, she was very open to the approach. She invested in the convo but after a couple mins mentioned her husband, I was surprised to hear she is 26 and married happily. I let her go, but this set boosted my confidence and put a smile on my face, I saw a girl I wanted and took the action to make it happen.

Snapchat close and tattooed gym rat

I had my first Snapchat close with a college redhead shortly after this set as well – she had piercings and seemed a bit ditzy, was super talkative and invested in the conversation right away. I asked her for a drink at the end of the set and she said “Maybe, and I had to settle for her snap rather than number. I didn’t have a good feeling about this one and I was right – I never got a response back from her.

Then, I went to the wine aisle and and saw a super fit chick with tattoos. As someone who loves working out, I do appreciate a fit girl, so I had to open! Stacked on her tattoos, but couldn’t get her to stay much longer after we exchanged names, she didn’t seem too interested in me. It was good to see that my approach anxiety at this point in my journey was getting considerably less when seeing the cuter girls, this definitely felt helpful to me.

Summary

My first Snapchat close was interesting because I wondered whether it would lead to something. Until this point, I had always gotten numbers and pushed for them, but when she offered me her Snap I thought it would be good to see if I can make it happen over Snap. Well, ever since then, I don’t take Snapchat and go for the number. In my mind, if a girl is interested enough, she will give me her number.

  • Approaches: 90
  • Numbers: 10
  • Snapchat: 1

Field Report: A New Venue And Lessons Learned

“Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It’s quite simple, really: Double your rate of failure. You are thinking of failure as the enemy of success. But it isn’t at all. You can be discouraged by failure or you can learn from it, so go ahead and make mistakes. Make all you can. Because remember that’s where you will find success.”

Thomas J. Watson

The New Venue

At this point in my daygame journey, I was struggling to find more venues where the concentration of cute girls was high enough to give me enough targets to approach. Downtown usually doesn’t have high foot traffic areas, so I had gamed mostly at malls and stores. I was excited to try out a big grocery store in a hip part of town. The demographics were good – lots of 20-somethings lived in the area, it had 3(!!) gyms close by, and a college campus too. I love working out, and I love a cute girl with a nice ass in yoga pants. I had to check it out! As it turns out, I loved it there, and it is maybe my favorite place to game in my area (I was there last Sunday and did 8 approaches). But let’s get back to the first time I was there – and the lesson I learned.

The Nice Brunette Who Wasn’t

As this was a new venue I was unfamiliar with and considering I had 72 daygame approaches at this stage of my journey, I was a bit nervous and had a lot of approach anxiety. However, there were a lot of targets, and I was excited to see that this specific grocery store seemed to be a landmine! That helped with my AA a bit, and I saw a brunette in a dress. She looked super nice, so I felt confident that approaching her as my first set of the day would be great and she will love it! I walk up to her, direct opener – she looked at me weird and just said “I am on my way out!” and walked away. There went my initial impression of her being nice, but I took it well – it actually made me chuckle and this quick rejection inspired me to take more action.

Gaining Momentum… and the blonde with the RBF

I did a couple of more sets almost right away, this place was full of cute girls! A blonde smiled at my approach and thanked me, but walked away. A brunette at the wine aisle was staring intently at the wines there, so I went indirect. She didn’t realize that I was hitting on her and walked away, only to come back a second later. I made sure she knew I was hitting on her this time, but she said she drinks the wine with her boyfriend. (Note to self: direct approaches are more masculine and superior!)

And then, there she was – a blonde with a resting bitch face in yoga pants with an amazing ass. My mind tried to make excuses – “She looks mean, she won’t like you approaching her, she seems like a bitch, etc.” I almost chickened out of approaching her, but then she turned around and I saw her piece of art ass again. I had to do it, no matter what! I chased her and opened direct – her RBF immediately turned into a smile! Sarah was very chatty, I guess the fact that she had a resting bitch face scares guys away and she doesn’t get approached too often, but she loved it and was genuinely curious about me. She asked me a lot of questions and the vibe was good, so I naturally went for the number to have a drink. At that point, she said she has a boyfriend, but would have loved to if she didn’t. I believed her – her body language and voice tonality was honest. I wished Sarah a good day and moved on, she enjoyed being approached!

The European Lover

At this point, I felt good and had momentum – I had done four approaches, the last one turned out well, and it seemed like this grocery store was packed with sexy women – what’s not to love? As I was walking towards the wine aisle, I noticed a cute blonde. I opened direct strongly with lots of intent and confidence. Right away, she asked me about my accent and said “I have been to thirteen countries in Europe!” I teased her a bit and then we figured out she hasn’t been to my country. Just as we were vibing and I had a good feeling about this one, her friend shows up and Lauren told me that’s her friend. I acted confidently and introduced myself to her friend, and then they said they had to go! Fuck – if only I could have had a few more minutes with her, at this point we had only talked for about a minute but it was clear she was into European men. I trusted my sixth sense and went for the number, she said “Maybe…” I then pushed a bit playfully and she gave me her number. She did end up texting me back and we had a date setup. So there’s another lesson too: if a girl is into you, it doesn’t matter if the set ends up being too short. I think she only said “Maybe” to my number close because her friend was there, she didn’t want to seem too easy.

Summary

So there you have it guys – if you think a girl looks nice and approachable, she might not be. Even if she gives you an IOI, she might not like you approaching her. And just because a girl seems bitchy doesn’t mean she won’t melt when you approach her like a man with intent. Some girls will also just be into you and even if the set is short for external reasons, she will still want to meet up because you are her type. The way I see it, every approach is Schrodinger’s approach – the girl could either love it or hate it. It is up to you to find out! Let’s look at the data so far:

  • Approaches: 78
  • Numbers: 10

Field Report: The Nurse and the Latina

“If you are not willing to risk the usual, you will have to settle for the ordinary.”

Jim Rohn

The Nurse

I was recovering from an illness and hadn’t approached in about a week. I was pumped from a great gym session when I went to the grocery store to pick up some things. As I was navigating my way through the aisles, a blonde caught my eye and we held eye contact for a second, then she smiled. An IOI, it was on! I had to go after her and found her in the snacks aisle. “Excuse me, I saw you from over there and thought you look nice” I said. She smiled right away and immediately asked for my name. It was on even more! She had hooked right away and was easy to talk to. Ellen was a blonde nurse who was shopping for a party she was throwing next night. I made sure to tease her about it, and we talked about food, travel, and life in general for a few minutes. She asked my name again as I was getting her number, and she put in both her first and last name in my phone when I handed it to her. The rush to approach after a week or so was amazing, and the set was perfect, I was happy!

The Latina… and her phone

The next day, I was at Target after work when my eyes noticed the amazing ass of a Latina almost as soon as I walked in. My feet had a mind of their own and started to walk towards her, she looked so good, I had to approach! I finally caught up to her in a grocery aisle as she had her phone in her hand. I didn’t think much of it and delivered my opener… and she smiled, but pretty much right as I finished, I heard someone start to speak Spanish on her speakerphone. She had just called her mom and she picked up right as I approached, what were the chances? She started talking to her mom and I stood there for a few seconds, then walked away. I thought I had bad luck as I walked away, but thinking about it maybe she wasn’t too interested in me, otherwise she would have found a way to keep talking to me. I did feel like I had a chance if she didn’t get on the phone, but that’s the game – sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. It felt great to be attracted to a girl on a primal level and know you have to approach though!

Married Chicks

I went to a department store after the gym one night and saw a smoking hot fit brunette. I figured I had to approach and did it, she smiled after the opener and said she was married right away, showing me her ring. I was nervous as I walked towards her to approach but I was glad I made it happen, quick rejection is key in growing as a player!

Almost right away after that, I saw an Asian looking chick in yoga pants, she looked good too so I opened her direct as well. She was married too! She was Kazakh and loved chatting, I had to let her go when I sensed she was using it to boost her self-esteem and as validation, she wasn’t interested in anything more. It’s funny how women can stand there and talk to you for hours if you don’t have the balls to show your intent, they love the attention. You have to be the man and go after what you want, otherwise plenty of women will happily waste your precious time.

Summary

I was slowly but surely getting better. I still had a lot of approach anxiety at this point of my journey, but now I made it happen with the really hot women and went after what I wanted, no matter how nervous I was. There were actually times when I weaseled on approaching an OK chick, only to see a hot one a minute later and open her almost immediately. I was happy to see my response to the hot ones, but wanted a bit more consistency and self-confidence when it came to opening other attractive women, as I knew that would make me a better player. Let’s look at the data so far:

  • Approaches: 72
  • Numbers: 9

Field Report: My First Fake Number

“Don’t let the fear of losing be greater than the excitement of winning.”

Robert Kiyosaki

Bookstore Approach

I was at a bookstore walking around trying to find both a book and a cute girl to approach. I saw a girl who had a bunch of magazines sitting on a bench. She made eye contact as I was walking by and I opened indirectly, asking her if she works there since she had all the magazines. Heather said she was trying to find a good one, and I engaged her asking for a recommendation. Talk shortly shifted towards Europe and travel, and she told me she was an Air Force child , 30 yrs old but she looked younger than that. She told me about her love of Game of Thrones, and it was only natural that I asked for her number since I felt like it was a good set. She asked for mine, and I smiled and said let me just take yours. She gave it to me and I didn’t think much of it at that point, I was happy to have a good set and get some digits.

I ended up texting her the day after, stacking on some of the things we talked about during our chat. I got a reply shortly after, and I thought that was encouraging… until I saw what the response is – “This isn’t Heather, you must have the wrong number” Ouch! My first fake number. For some reason I thought it was hilarious! Why didn’t she just say she didn’t want to give me her number? I would have totally been okay with that. However, I am happy to say that this hasn’t happened since then: gotten a lot of flakes after getting a number, but no fake numbers since this happened.

The young-looking cougar

I was shopping at the grocery store across from the gym one night when I saw a blonde that looked like she was in a good shape. I had to take a closer look. I walked towards her and she turned around, she looked good so I had to go approach her. She loved my direct approach and immediately hooked, asked for my name right away and was very flirty. She told me she was in her late 30’s, which surprised me, she looked way younger. The set was around 10 minutes, and I thought I had it in the bag for sure, but when I asked for a number she said she was kinda seeing someone. I felt like she was interested so I kept talking to her and she shit tested me – “I could be your mother!” I didn’t do too well responding to that, I felt like if I had a bit more experience I could have gotten her number. She was definitely interested but probably seeing someone, and I needed tight game to get her to give me her number. I didn’t have tight game at that point, but it was great to have such a long set with lots of flirting and touching. I remember her saying “You look like you don’t have trouble finding someone!” and looked at my arms, that felt great.

Mall Assistant

I was at the local mall and walked inside a store when I saw a blonde working there with a nice ass in weird looking pants. As I was wondering how to open she engaged me and asked if I need help. I told her I am looking for a gift for my mom, then we talked for a bit. She told me she does underwear and couldn’t help me too much there, so I joked that I am looking for a new bra since my chest is getting bigger after working out so much. She laughed and we then started talking about the gym, and just as I felt like it was going somewhere her older coworker came back. I kept talking to her and engaged her coworker a bit, but she wasn’t going anywhere. I felt like I had to go for broke – I asked for her number. She said she has a boyfriend, and I was on my way. I thought it was a good set and if her coworker wasn’t there I might have gotten her number. That’s the way it goes sometimes!

Summary

At this point, I was almost two thirds done with my first 100 approaches. There were a lot of new experiences for me – this time it ended up being a fake number. I felt like my game was getting better, as I was having longer sets and getting better responses. Every approach felt like a challenge at first because of approach anxiety, but once I was in set and it started going well I was more confident. Sets after the gym were especially good, as the testosterone was kicking in and overriding anything else. Here are the numbers:

  • Approaches: 65
  • Numbers: 8