“London is satisfied, Paris is resigned, but New York is always hopeful. Always it believes that something good is about to come off, and it must hurry to meet it.”Dorothy Parker
In this post, I will talk about my second date (and what ended up being my second near miss) during my week of daygame in NYC. As you know if you had read my previous blog post, I had a date with a nineteen year old teen model named Julia who had just moved to the city, and had a near miss when I bounced her back to my Airbnb. I did mention in that post that a few hours before our date, as I was scouting the area around the park where I was meeting Julia, I did another approach that ultimately resulted in the story I will tell in this blog post. I will talk about the approach, the texting that ultimately led to the date, the date itself, the bounce back to my Airbnb, and why this was a near miss. My mistakes here were a bit more obvious, so it will be easier to analyze, and it was easier for me to learn from this one than from the near miss with Julia (it is likely that I played my cards correctly with Julia, even though I like to reflect back and think that I can always improve, even if I run solid game for the most part). However, I definitely made a few mistakes towards the end here, and part of that was due to the fact I was going to be leaving town in a couple of days, so I had to go for broke. Even so, there were a few things I believe I could have improved now that I had a chance to reflect back on this girl and how the date went. So without further ado, let’s jump right into it!
It was Tuesday, my fourth day in NYC and I was out and approaching girls, while at the same time keeping up with the leads I had acquired so far. I had just confirmed my date for that night with Julia for that night, and I was walking around the park where we would meet for our date to ensure I knew the surrounding area for a store that had drinks we could pick up before I took her to the park so we could talk. I had done a few sets already, some were decent but no good leads yet, and I had just done a set at the park which ended up being a bad one – I got distracted by some skaters as I was opening a girl that was seated, and that caused my voice to be shaky and I didn’t project it. The girl ignored me at first, and I did try again but that didn’t help, so I learned my lesson and I walked away just like that. I definitely had a better time approaching girls as they were walking around and going in and out of the park than I did approaching seated sets in that park, it felt more comfortable and natural to do.
As I was walking out of the park on my way to the store next door to scout it out, I noticed Amy. She was a short Chinese brunette with good curvy body for her size, and even though I don’t usually go for Asian girls too often, I had to go for this one. I stopped her right as she walked past the store I would hit up later with Julia, and I could tell initially my approach shocked her a bit and took her out of whatever she was thinking, but then her face quickly turned into a smile, and I could tell she seemed to like me. Amy was 18 years old, a student at NYU from China. Her English was pretty good, and she seemed witty while still being shy, which I found very cute. She took my teases well and answered them in a good way, and the vibe of the set was very good, I could tell this would likely lead somewhere (she also took her mask off for me after a bit, also a great sign). I spiked it sexually by teasing her about having secrets since her parents are so far away and she was all alone here in NYC, to which she responded “Don’t we all?” with a mischievous smile. Well played, Amy, well played!
Since the set was going super well and she told me it was her off day and she wasn’t doing anything besides going to grab a quick bite to eat, I had a decision to make, and I had to make it quickly. Do I go for the instadate with Amy, since the set was super on, thus risking running close to my date with Julia? Or do I settle for the number here, get Amy out on another day, and then focus on doing more approaches and then meeting Julia? I quickly settled on just grabbing Amy’s number and focusing my attention on the date with Julia, as Julia was a model and thus a bit more attractive than Amy in my mind (although Amy was also very good looking, I must say). I was wondering if I made the right move as I walked away – what if it was one of those sets that had lots of sexual energy… and then I would text her and she wouldn’t respond? Should I have just taken her on an instadate (which she seemed down for) and cut it short? My mind wondered, but I texted Amy later that night after Julia left my place (along with the other leads I got before my date with Julia – an Ukrainian brunette and a Mexican teen student) and she responded to my message almost right away. Since she was responding so well, I pitched a date for the next day since I was only in town for a few more days, and she seemed receptive, even suggesting a place where we could grab a tea. When I mentioned a time though, she told me she had a class then, so after a bit of back and forth we settled on Friday early afternoon. I was going to leave on Sunday morning, thus knowing that I would likely only have one shot of escalating with Amy to pull her back to my place and make things happen. I was looking forward to the escalation challenge, having learned some lessons from my time with Julia.
I was with Breeze earlier that Friday, exploring the fine NYC museums (I know what you are probably thinking: daygamers have hobbies besides picking up chicks???) and I told him my intentions – escalate on the date as quickly as I can, and if I get green lights bounce Amy back to my place and seeing if I can make it happen. If not, I told him, I would meet him after the date so we can do some more approaches that Friday night. I only had one week in NYC, and I didn’t want to waste a minute of it, which would end up hurting me on this particular date. I am getting ahead of myself, though!
I made my way over to the park, and a few minutes later Amy showed up wearing a black shirt, short black skirt, and heels (as well as a choker). She looked great – and I could tell she was definitely dressed to impress on our date, a great sign right off the bat! We started walking towards the place we would pick up tea from, and I made sure to go into comfort chit chat, asking her about her classes. She told me she had finished her last class (another good sign), and I told her she now could relax and enjoy her Friday. We kept talking about how she came to America, how she liked China, etc. and I was keeping the vibe up with teases from time to time. As we picked up our tea, we started walking back to the park, and I made sure to lead in choosing where to sit, jokingly rejecting a few benches for obviously weird reasons (“the old couple next to that bench looks TOO relaxed, maybe they smoked something on the way here”) which made Amy laugh and showed that I was enjoying myself and having fun. I finally chose a good bench, and we sat next to each other.
I again started to ramp up the spontaneous element of a big city after a bit, telling Amy how cool it is to meet new people and make memories with them, and overplaying our cultural differences as a sign of attraction. I also made sure to escalate with kino, and she was very receptive as I made my way to putting my hand on her thigh for a few seconds. It was going well – and she kept great eye contact, as I tried to eyefuck her while I was talking. She looked down a few times shyly with a smile, and I had a good feeling about it. As we finished up our teas, I made sure she didn’t have anything going on in the afternoon, and it all sounded good. I told her we could go for a walk and I would show her the neighborhood I was staying at – no objections from her, so I walked her over that way. On the way, I made sure to sexualize with words as well – she told me how she had a boyfriend in middle school that she had to keep secret due to the culture, and I teased her about being a bad girl. She also told me that last year she saw a man masturbate at the park (gotta love NYC!) and I teased her she probably liked it while she hit me on the arm. This felt on, even though it didn’t feel as on as it had felt with Julia at that point. Nevertheless, there were no objections from Amy as I walked her towards my place and told her I would show her around and I wanted to drop off a magnet I had picked up at the museum.
I could tell she felt a bit nervous as she walked in my apartment, and I gave her the quick tour (those NYC apartments are small). A part of me wanted to get the lay so I could go back on the street and make use of my time in NYC, which likely ended up being a mistake on my part. I didn’t take enough time to make Amy feel comfortable at my place. I started to escalate things sexually too quickly, and she did tell me she liked being choked when I asked what she liked during sex. We made out shortly after we sat on my couch, and after a while I ended up pulling her shirt up and sucking on her nipples a bit. The sexual attraction was definitely on, but something felt off – I should have stopped there and talked for a few minutes more (or ideally done that as we were in my place, and not went for the lay so quickly). But I didn’t – in my mind, I didn’t wanna waste time, and I wanted to see if I would get the lay or not. After a bit of making out, Amy rolled off me for a bit, and told me she had to go meet a friend. I knew at that point I had escalated too much too quickly, and despite her being a yes girl who was into me, I likely burned this set to the ground before I got laid. I tried to persist and act cool anyway, but I could tell it wasn’t going to happen at this point. I realized my mistake here, but I was in town for only a couple more days, so I persisted a bit more, much more that I would have normally. It didn’t lead anywhere, and I walked Amy down the stairs. Vibe was completely different than it was with Julia, although it wasn’t that bad. I made sure to mention hanging out again, and she seemed to agree, although both of us knew that would never happen. We made out outside my apartment as we were outside, and I let her go. I never saw her again!
- You can mess things up even with yes girls – Amy was definitely a yes girl, I could tell by the way she looked at me right after the shock of my approach. The eye contact, the sexual talk, the touches, what she wore for the date – everything suggested she liked me and would have fucked me had I played my cards right. And I did… up until I bounced her back to my place. I didn’t give her enough time to feel comfortable at my place, and I escalated too quickly, showing neediness. Why did I show neediness? I didn’t wanna waste my time – in my mind, if I spent 3-4 hours with her, that was time I wouldn’t have to approach, and I only had one more day in the city. If I had another week in NYC, I likely would have done it differently, but that is not an excuse. I was too set to going for the quick lay rather than using calibration, which would have told me that she needed a bit more time at my place to feel comfortable, even if she was into me. It was painful to have two girls bounced back to my place in three days, getting sexual with them, and having two near misses, but that’s the game sometimes! That had never happened to me up until this point (usually if a girl gets back to my place, we have sex). However, those two near misses I have learned a lot from over the last few weeks, and I have thought about them a lot. There is a silver lining to everything, you just have to find it.
- Logistics are huge – my Airbnb was centrally located, and as such, it was laughably easy to just walk girls towards it on our date, and then mention “I live right here btw. I will show you” and then both girls came back without saying anything, just like that. Living in the Midwest suburbs for a few years now, I loved how easy all of that was – so many bars and restaurants around the area too, making it easy to have the last drink super close to my place if I was staying longer on other dates. Good logistics can definitely be the difference between bouncing a girl back to your place on the first date and never seeing her again
- Daygame works best in huge cities – I can’t believe how many leads I got in just a week of approaching in NYC. The number of approaches I did was great, too – something that is impossible to do here in the Midwest. I will write up more about this in the overall NYC daygame post that will be coming soon, but if you are serious about daygame, you need to move to a pedestrian city like NYC, London, Prague, Moscow, Warsaw, etc. And for those of you that are daygaming in non-pedestrian cities like I am, I will have a surprise for you in the next few weeks that should make it easy to get started (or get better at approaching girls in non-street venues). Stay tuned for my next post on my overall thoughts about daygaming in NYC, as well as for the surprise!