Tinder Game: My Friend’s Experience As A Model

“In order to succeed, we must first believe that we can.”

Nikos Kazantzakis

Intro

I have been quite busy lately, and haven’t written a post on here in a couple of months. With work, working out, approaching, and hanging out with friends, there was a lot going on. But now with everything shutting down due to Corona, I have a bit more time to write. I was hanging out with a friend of mine who I hadn’t seen in a while. He is a model, and we were catching up about our lives, sharing stories that had happened to both of us. He told me about getting on Tinder as he had moved to a new city, and I was naturally curious so I asked him to share his experience. In many ways, I expected what I was about to hear, but it was also eye opening. I thought it was amusing that he was almost as amazed at my daygame stories as I was with some of his Tinder stories, but we will get to that soon. I have also started using Tinder over the last week due to almost everything shutting down around here, so I will share some of my experience as well towards the end of the article.

Tinder as a Male Model

To give you some context, my friend had done some modeling for a couple of years in both Europe and the US. He recently moved to a new city for work after getting out of a long-term relationship, so he had gone on Tinder and was on there for a few months. He told me he got over 100 matches in the first day he was on there, and often had girls messaging him first. I was wondering how some of those girls compared to the average girl I had daygamed, so I asked to take a look at some of his messages with his matches. It was quite interesting: there were very cute girls messaging him first, and he barely had to do much in order to get them to meet up with him. His game is basically a good looking guy game: he knows women want him, and he uses that to his advantage. Nothing fancy. There were girls basically making sexual comments about his pictures, playing along if he made sexual comments, offering him Snap/number right away, etc. Even though he was getting so many matches and with some really cute girls, he told me that some girls would still flake when it was time to meet up. Despite that, he showed me a few of the girls he had hooked up with while I was looking through his Tinder: depending on your taste, there were definitely some girls who could be considered 7’s and 8’s, maybe even 9’s.

Tinder in Detail

I shared that with him to get his thoughts: how online dating is conceived as not having top quality girls. What he then told me actually surprised me: he said that a lot of girls he works/has worked with have been on Tinder, but stay on there for a very short amount of time. Most of them are in LTRs and when they get on there, they are just overwhelmed with the attention. He told me of one of model friends who shared that she had 1000s of matches in just a day or two, and had to deactivate her account. I asked if she had hooked up with anyone from there, and while he said he was uncertain, she did tell him she had a couple of dates.

I thought about this after we had met up, and it makes sense: I think it’s a myth that really pretty girls don’t get on Tinder/Bumble. Nowadays it’s so ubiquitous that almost every girl has tried it at least once. However, the super pretty girls get so much attention so fast that they don’t stay for long. If you couple that with Tinder’s algorithm, then unless you are creme de la creme guy, you won’t even get shown to those girls. In fact, even if you are one of the top guys on Tinder, you might not get shown to them unless you pay. But there are 8s and 9s that get on Tinder and have sex on there: it’s just super hard to catch them with Tinder’s algorithm working against guys.

What I noticed about his profile

As a model, of course all his pictures were taken professionally, and it made a huge difference: whenever I had used Tinder, I have always used pictures taken with my phone. Even though most phones have good cameras nowadays, professional model photos will always blow those out of the water. As always, it’s online dating, so being good looking is paramount: my friend told me there was a week where he had a date every week with girls who were so happy that he went out with them that they were practically throwing themselves at him. His bio wasn’t anything special or eye catching, just mentioning he was a model. It seems like that was good enough for him. I did ask him if he felt like matches slowed down after a few days, and he did mention that was his experience as well: it was noticeable, but he was still getting enough matches with high quality girls.

I also saw some examples of pretty bad game: he was making small talk with girls at times, but the girls were hooking and asking him questions, at times even hinting at meeting up. He told me sometimes he would see a girl and feel like she wouldn’t be up for meeting a stranger so fast and assumed she would like to get to know a guy before going out for drinks. I knew he had always met his girls through modeling or social circle so I asked him how it felt to be online: he told me it felt unnatural and weird, like the girls only wanted him for his good looks and sometimes he would go on a date with a girl and end up being disappointed at how shallow she was and how little value she had to offer. He told me he hoped to find a girl he was interested in sooner, and that all of the girls hitting him up on Tinder was actually kind of tiring for him. I had known him for a while so that didn’t surprise me: he was actually a pretty introverted guy in his teens, and modelling changed him a bit but he is still a bit quieter and enjoys a small circle of friends.

As much as I was amazed by his success on Tinder (and how uncomfortable he seemed with it, almost as if he didn’t really care for it), he was equally as amazed with my daygame stories. I had just had my first instadate the week before we went for drinks to catch up (I still need to write a blog post about that story, coming soon!), and he was shocked that I had meet a girl at the mall, started talking to her, and a couple of minutes later we went for drinks together. I smiled and told him I wish I could have his success on Tinder. He told me he wishes he could go up to girls randomly and get them on dates right away. I told him for someone like him, that should be fairly easy to do. Both of us laughed and enjoyed the night together eventually talking about many other topics and catching up like old friends do when they haven’t seen each other. Since this was a couple of months ago, I am sure I have forgotten a couple of things that I noticed at the time, but the above is what I remember about going through his Tinder.

My Recent Experience on Tinder

As I mentioned in the beginning, I got back online reluctantly due to the recent pandemic and everything shutting down. I am nowhere near as good-looking as my model friend, and my pictures are all taken with my phone. However, I decided to post a couple of body pics on Tinder to see what would happen. While I am not getting too many matches, almost all of the girls I match with respond to my first message, and I have been experimenting with being sexual right off the bat. All the girls so far that seemed interested would flake when it came time to meet up: I am not sure if this is due to Corona, or if it would happen otherwise as well. Maybe a little bit of both. I also noticed that I still hate online dating: too much power is in the hands of the girls. I like being the hunter: seeing a girl I like and going up to her, being able to use body language, eye contact, and vocal tone to seduce her. Getting real-time feedback on my skills rather than hiding behind a screen.

How to setup a good Tinder profile

If you are thinking of getting online because day/night game is dead in most places nowadays, here are some suggestions based on everything I have noticed:

  • Take professional photos if possible. I was blown away how good the quality of my friend’s photos were compared to the ones I am using right now. It’s online dating, it makes a huge difference, and if you want the best results then taking your photos with a camera is necessary
  • Be good-looking. It’s online dating, so this is expected. However, I have photos in exotic places which were taken with my phone that girls love, and comment on all the time. If you are not super good-looking, then being adventurous and well-traveled in your pics is also a chick magnet.
  • Don’t expect too much. I can’t stress this enough. Most guys get depressed when they swipe because most of the girls they find attractive don’t swipe on them. I used to notice that happening to me as well, and I had to consciously change my attitude to make sure it doesn’t effect me mentally. Online is for practicing your text game and fast pulls. If a girl doesn’t wanna meet up after a few messages, she is only after your attention and validation. Move on to something better
  • Disable your notifications and don’t get addicted to the dopamine hit of messages/matches. Your time is valuable and you are a man in demand: don’t waste too much time swiping
  • At the end of the day, online dating should be used as a supplement to meeting girls in real life, and not as a crutch. I know times seem tough right now due to the pandemic, but use dating apps to try out your pictures/messages and see what response you get from girls. Remember: girls have all the power on Tinder, and unless you pay, most girls don’t even see your profile due to how many guys there are on dating apps. You are a commodity
  • The light at the end of the tunnel: doing online dating now makes me miss daygame that much more. I still go out a couple times a week and see if there is any sets at the grocery store while I shop during the pandemic, but there have been zero cute girls last week. I am excited to get back into talking to girls in person and starting to create a real connection with real women, rather than hide behind a screen with pictures and a bio.
  • Use online dating to amuse yourself: try new lines, funny and sexual openers, etc. Push for a meeting ASAP so you don’t spend too much validating princesses who were never gonna meet with anyone from online anyway
  • To sum up, online doesn’t give you the ability to work on yourself: to practice eye contact, body language, tone of voice, kino. Daygame and nightgame both give you that, and will get you much more comfortable with fast escalation than doing it thru your phone. So my verdict on online dating is: if you have professional pictures and are getting lots of matches and can get a few dates a week, keep doing it. If you are doing it because there are no other options right now, then do it and see what results you get. However, I do believe that as soon as the pandemic is over, most men will learn more and become better by doing daygame or nightgame. For 95% of guys, online dating will give miniscule returns. Especially in the USA!

Fixed vs. Growth Mindset: Does The Concept Apply To Cold Approach?

“Becoming is better than being”

Carol S. Dweck

Introduction

Over Christmas and New Years, I had a few days off work and I was visiting some family. I had a book with me as I traveled that I had wanted to read for a while – Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck. Some of you might be familiar with it: in the book, Dweck discusses fixed mindset and growth mindset, tells the reader what they are, and gives examples from sports, business and relationships that prove growth mindset leads to success, achievement and satisfaction, while the fixed mindset leads to unfulfilled potential and amazement with natural ability rather than progression. As I read that book, a thought popped into my head: “How are the mindsets applicable to cold approach and improving as a player?” In this post, I will describe what the fixed and growth mindset are, talk about examples of the mindsets in cold approach, and share my thoughts on actionable advice to take if you want to reach your potential as a player. Let’s dive into it!

What is the difference between the fixed mindset and the growth mindset?

Study the two images above. They describe the differences between the two mindsets in a visual, easy to contrast way. Here are quotes from the book to reinforce what the mindsets are, and how they differ from each other:

Fixed Mindset

“For twenty years, my research has shown that the view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life. It can determine whether you become the person you want to be and whether you accomplish the things you value. How does this happen? How can a simple belief have the power to transform your psychology and, as a result, your life?

Believing that your qualities are carved in stone — the fixed mindset — creates an urgency to prove yourself over and over. If you have only a certain amount of intelligence, a certain personality, and a certain moral character — well, then you’d better prove that you have a healthy dose of them. It simply wouldn’t do to look or feel deficient in these most basic characteristics.”

Growth Mindset

“There’s another mindset in which these traits are not simply a hand you’re dealt and have to live with, always trying to convince yourself and others that you have a royal flush when you’re secretly worried it’s a pair of tens. In this mindset, the hand you’re dealt is just the starting point for development. This growth mindset is based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts. Although people may differ in every which way — in their initial talents and aptitudes, interests, or temperaments — everyone can change and grow through application and experience.

Do people with this mindset believe that anyone can be anything, that anyone with proper motivation or education can become Einstein or Beethoven? No, but they believe that a person’s true potential is unknown (and unknowable); that it’s impossible to foresee what can be accomplished with years of passion, toil, and training.”

How does this apply to cold approach?

You are probably thinking to yourself “That’s an interesting concept, but how can I use this when I pickup chicks?” I was wondering the exact same thing after I finished the book, and have since consciously used the growth mindset to evolve my game and focus on becoming a better player. Have you ever thought or said any of the following things?

  • “I am not tall enough to have success with women”
  • “I am not having success with girls because I am not fit enough”
  • “A chick like that will never go for a guy like me because I am not good-looking enough”
  • “I can’t fuck hot blondes because I am Indian”
  • “She won’t like me because my cock is not ten inches”

Let’s be honest, everyone who has ever approached women consistently has experienced some form of approach anxiety, and has said some form of the statements above to justify not approaching. Well, guess what? Hopefully at this point you realize that all those statements that we use to weasel out of approaching hot chicks are fixed mindset statements: I am not good enough for her, so I shouldn’t bother her. In the fixed mindset world, you are either good enough or you are not, and your brain does a damn good job of sabotaging your success with women by telling you that you are not good enough (especially when you are a beginner overwhelmed with approach anxiety) and you should avoid approaching her because she won’t like you anyway. This mindset leads to lots of failure and frustration long-term.

How to apply growth mindset to approaching

Now, let’s look at these statements and compare them with the ones above:

  • “I didn’t get her number because my eye contact wasn’t strong enough”
  • “Even though I got her number, my body language wasn’t open enough, I can improve that”
  • “She rejected me because I didn’t speak with enough confidence”
  • “I got her on a date with me, but I didn’t sexualize the conversation often enough”

Can you see the difference? While the fixed mindset statements were that the player isn’t good enough, the growth mindset statements above basically all say the same thing: “I got rejected, but I could improve X. Even though I succeeded with that girl, I can still improve Y.” If you adopt this mindset, then no longer are your successes and failures defined by the girl and how she reacts to you. Success is defined by your own progress – if you go out and approach 10 women with the intent of holding stronger eye contact and you get no numbers, yet by the end of your daygame session you hold stronger eye contact, was your session a success? Absolutely! If you go out and approach 10 women with the intention of opening direct each time, yet you chicken out and do 5 indirect approaches but get three numbers which eventually all lead to bangs, was your session a success? No, it wasn’t, because you went out with the intent to make your direct openers stronger, yet you failed to do that.

I know what you’re thinking: “But I got laid three times, how is that not a success???” We as players are often too eager to define our happiness and success by the amount of numbers, dates and notches we get from approaching. Believe me, I am guilty as charged on that, and truthfully I am still working on overcoming that. By defining our success with dates and sex, we effectively subconsciously tell our brain “My happiness is based on whether random strangers will have sex with me. If they don’t, then I must not be good.” If that isn’t an example of fixed mindset, I don’t know what is. Instead, we should tell our brain “My happiness is based on whether or not I am making progress towards my goals. I wanna fuck hot bitches, and I need to improve my eye contact, body language, and dating model to achieve that.” Counterintuitively, if you ignore your number ratios and focus on improving your sticking points, then the amount of dates and sex you have will increase. As RPD told me on Twitter – “Process > results.

Actionable Advice On Growth Mindset

You might be wondering “How do I make sure that I apply growth mindset as a player to improve my game?” Firstly, chase away thoughts about you being not tall enough, not muscular enough, not “anything enough” for women. We all get them from time to time, but they are making it harder for you to get laid with women. You are a man and she is a woman, that is all the reason you need to approach. Am I saying that any guy can be a Casanova? Recall the quote from Dweck above – not anyone can become Einstein or Beethoven (or Casanova), but at the same time you don’t know what your true potential as a player is until you put in years of effort and thousands of approaches. Instead, leave your ego at the door and ask yourself what your sticking points are. Make a list of all of them and prioritize them. Then, pick the top one and focus on it for your next game session and keep going until you don’t think that is your biggest sticking point anymore. Then hit the next one on the list and go on.

For example, let’s say you have trouble holding eye contact with women you approach and that is your biggest sticking point. For your next daygaming session, focus on making sexual eye contact and holding it as you are in set until the girl looks away first. Remember: your session is a success as long as you have made progress on your goal, not as long as you get a number/date/instadate/bang.

Personal Example

I will give you an example from my own daygame sessions this year that show how I have been using the growth mindset to improve my skills as a player. As I said in this Tweet, I had a streak of 21 approaches without getting a single number this year. If this happened a few months ago when I was a total beginner, I probably would have told myself a bunch of the fixed mindset statements such as I wasn’t good enough, attractive enough, tall enough, etc. Instead, I kept my head up because I hit my targets in those sessions – I had some good sets with good stacks, which is what I was focused on. I had noticed that my stacks were getting quite predictable and I was using the same ones too much, so I wasn’t having as much fun when gaming. I improvised and got good reactions out of the girls and amused myself, so even though I didn’t get numbers for a while I knew I was on the right track. And as you can see in the Tweet, I got an instadate after 21 approaches with no numbers after basically talking to the girl for 2 minutes. Progress is not always linear, and if you focus on improving the skills necessary to take your game to the next level, then sooner or later you WILL reach your potential. It won’t be for a while and you will have to work hard for it though!

Summary

Fixed mindset is when we believe that we are either good at something or we aren’t, and there is little we can do about what we can’t do. On the contrary, growth mindset is when we accept the fact that our current level does not define us, and our true potential is unknown until we put in years of effort to improve. When it comes to cold approaching, focusing on what you can do and what you have to improve in your sessions will make you a better player, as opposed to focusing on what someone else can do or how the girl reacts. Give the growth mindset techniques described above a try, you will be surprised at how effective they are!

Field Report: The MILF Bikini Competitor

“Fall seven times and stand up eight.

Japanese Proverb

Intro

As you know from my previous field report, I was 3 approaches away from hitting my initial goal of 100 approaches. This is the last field report that talks about my last 3 approaches (one in particular), and at the end I will give my statistics for those first 100 approaches. I am thinking about doing a post about what I learned from those approaches soon, so stay tuned! Let’s dive right into the good stuff first though.

The Bikini Competitor

I walked into a department store on a Friday night after the gym, and almost as soon as I walked in I saw her. Latina MILF with an amazing body, she was wearing gym clothes and I could tell she had no bra on. Her ass looked great as well, I knew I had to approach. I felt a bit nervous but I knew I had to go for it, she was easily the hottest chick out of the first 100. She ended up in the kids section so I went over and she actually looked at me as I walked towards her and held eye contact, I smiled and opened her on whether she’s Colombian. She ended up being Latina, and she was very bubbly and had actually just gotten back from Europe, told me she was married with two kids. I had a IDGAF attitude while talking to her so I just nodded and kept talking about fitness and travel, while making sure to touch her while flirting. She started investing more and told me she had actually done bikini competitions and won every one that she participated in, and tried to get me to follow her on IG since she’s a personal trainer on there now. I told her I don’t do social media much and kept flirting and doing kino, she kept bringing up her husband but she was super flirty, and eventually she made a comment about my fitness and grabbed my biceps while I was doing light kino on her shoulder, it was on! I ended up grabbing her number and was ecstatic after that happened, but she ended up not responding. If that would have happened today, I would have recognized the opportunity I had and tried to get her to grab a drink with me that same night, since her husband and kids were still in Europe – but you live and you learn, I was still making great progress. Before I started approaching, I would have never approached a chick like that in a store, and now I was flirting with them, and they were touching me and giving me their numbers. Not bad for progress!

Other two approaches

The other two approaches that got me to 100? Nothing special, so I won’t even mention them here – I will save you and myself the time.

Summary

Alright, so when I first started I had horrible approach anxiety, could barely approach, and every approach felt like a struggle. After doing 100, I felt like I was finally able to stop being as nervous, and actually focus on the girl and the connection. Looking back on it now (as of today, I have 291 approaches), I still had a lot to learn and made a lot of mistakes, but I was at the point where I could open more consistently and generate some leads. Here are the final stats for my first 100 approaches:

  • Approaches: 100
  • Numbers: 11
  • Snapchat: 1
  • Dates: 2

Field Report: The Pakistani And The Gym Rat

“The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.”

FDR

The Pakistani

I was at my favorite grocery store on the weekend when I saw a dark-skinned girl I found attractive – my gut told me that she’s Latina. I opened her direct and she smiled right away, I stacked on her looks telling her that she looks Latina. She hooked and told me she’s Pakistani, then immediately asked about my accent and where I’m from. In my experience, that is usually a good sign, and I did what I always do: I made her guess. She had nothing, so I teased her about that and told her where I am from. The chat progressed from there, but she wasn’t investing too much in the conversation, and at that point in my daygame journey I still had trouble with calibration. I went for the number after a bit and she offered to take my number. Ouch! I refused and asked for her number, she said I put her on the spot – that was interesting to hear, but I was happy to have enforced my boundaries. She eventually said no and I told her it’s OK and kept moving on. I was happy to do the right thing – giving her my number and never hearing from her again is not my idea of a good time, if she liked me enough she would have given me her number.

Indirect Opener

Shortly after the Pakistani set, I saw a cute slim blonde picking out her pasta for the night. I went indirect and commented on how focused she was on picking her pasta, the conversation then went into generic bullshit. I didn’t have the chance to go direct as we were in a busy section of the store and she walked away before I could make the switch, she did smile when I saw her later, but I have a rule of not approaching a girl in the same session if she walked away. This set only made me more invested in approaching direct and showing intent right away, otherwise it can be hard to make the switch once the conversation develops and goes somewhere.

Chick with flowers

I was at the store for about an hour now, and I had done five approaches – it was a good day and lots of cute girls kept walking in. I saw a chick with flowers in her cart, and remembered what I had read on Redpilldad’s blog about an approach he did where he used the following line – “Why is a pretty girl like you buying her own flowers?” I think my delivery was off as I had to repeat the opener, then she said “Because I can!” and walked away. I don’t think I came across as playful enough here, but the girl also seemed a bit like a bitch.

The Gym Rat

I was almost ready to go home as I had done six approaches and gotten some good convo, but no numbers. I wasn’t really feeling it, but then I saw Alexis. She was cute and in her gym clothes, I had to approach. She smiled at me before opening, so I thought she liked me and I went direct. It turns out she was an intern and had been in the area for a couple of months, both of us had an interest in the gym and we chatted for a bit. She said she’s only in the area for another week when I went for the number close, then she said good to meet you and walked away. If I had a bit more experience here I would have probably pushed it a bit further, but back then I didn’t have the confidence to do so.

Summary

This session was interesting because my inner game wasn’t strong and I was questioning myself, yet I had a couple of good sets and some IOI’s. I got no numbers from seven approaches, but looking back on it I was cutting my conversations short and going for the number rather than staying for another few minutes and then number closing after establishing a better connection. You live and you learn! Next field report will detail my remaining three approaches I did to get to a hundred approaches, and I might even write about some of the lessons I learned from those first hundred approach anxiety ridden approaches. Stay tuned for more!

  • Approaches: 97
  • Numbers: 10
  • Snapchat: 1

Field Report: Grocery Store Game

“The real test is not whether you avoid this failure, because you won’t. It’s whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere.”

Barack Obama

Grocery Store Game

I noticed something at this stage in my daygame journey – I was having a decent amount of success in the grocery store after the gym. As I mentioned in my previous blog post, I also found a new grocery store that was full of cute women, so I was excited to game there and get some sets in. I will talk about some of the more interesting sets I did over a one-week period in this field report.

The Blonde Who Was Flattered

I approached a blonde with green eyes who was dressed in all black, teased her about it and got into a good conversation with her. She was very flattered that I opened her direct and her eyes went real big, she repeated that she was flattered a few times during the set. I think I made the mistake of talking too much and not making the set more about her, but overall it was good practice and I was able to tease her a bit. She said she was kinda seeing someone when I went for the number close – I let her go, but if this set would have happened today, I would have pushed a bit more. Back then, I didn’t have the experience yet to know when to let them go and when the boyfriend is genuine, but I am always learning!

The blonde I had to approach

Sometimes, you see a girl that is so your type that all approach anxiety goes away and your legs walk towards her on their own. Well, this happened to me shortly after I did the set above. I saw a tall blonde and gave chase, caught up to her in one of the aisles. Opened direct and she liked it, good talk about music festivals and I made sure to tease her a bit, she was very open to the approach. She invested in the convo but after a couple mins mentioned her husband, I was surprised to hear she is 26 and married happily. I let her go, but this set boosted my confidence and put a smile on my face, I saw a girl I wanted and took the action to make it happen.

Snapchat close and tattooed gym rat

I had my first Snapchat close with a college redhead shortly after this set as well – she had piercings and seemed a bit ditzy, was super talkative and invested in the conversation right away. I asked her for a drink at the end of the set and she said “Maybe, and I had to settle for her snap rather than number. I didn’t have a good feeling about this one and I was right – I never got a response back from her.

Then, I went to the wine aisle and and saw a super fit chick with tattoos. As someone who loves working out, I do appreciate a fit girl, so I had to open! Stacked on her tattoos, but couldn’t get her to stay much longer after we exchanged names, she didn’t seem too interested in me. It was good to see that my approach anxiety at this point in my journey was getting considerably less when seeing the cuter girls, this definitely felt helpful to me.

Summary

My first Snapchat close was interesting because I wondered whether it would lead to something. Until this point, I had always gotten numbers and pushed for them, but when she offered me her Snap I thought it would be good to see if I can make it happen over Snap. Well, ever since then, I don’t take Snapchat and go for the number. In my mind, if a girl is interested enough, she will give me her number.

  • Approaches: 90
  • Numbers: 10
  • Snapchat: 1

Field Report: A New Venue And Lessons Learned

“Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It’s quite simple, really: Double your rate of failure. You are thinking of failure as the enemy of success. But it isn’t at all. You can be discouraged by failure or you can learn from it, so go ahead and make mistakes. Make all you can. Because remember that’s where you will find success.”

Thomas J. Watson

The New Venue

At this point in my daygame journey, I was struggling to find more venues where the concentration of cute girls was high enough to give me enough targets to approach. Downtown usually doesn’t have high foot traffic areas, so I had gamed mostly at malls and stores. I was excited to try out a big grocery store in a hip part of town. The demographics were good – lots of 20-somethings lived in the area, it had 3(!!) gyms close by, and a college campus too. I love working out, and I love a cute girl with a nice ass in yoga pants. I had to check it out! As it turns out, I loved it there, and it is maybe my favorite place to game in my area (I was there last Sunday and did 8 approaches). But let’s get back to the first time I was there – and the lesson I learned.

The Nice Brunette Who Wasn’t

As this was a new venue I was unfamiliar with and considering I had 72 daygame approaches at this stage of my journey, I was a bit nervous and had a lot of approach anxiety. However, there were a lot of targets, and I was excited to see that this specific grocery store seemed to be a landmine! That helped with my AA a bit, and I saw a brunette in a dress. She looked super nice, so I felt confident that approaching her as my first set of the day would be great and she will love it! I walk up to her, direct opener – she looked at me weird and just said “I am on my way out!” and walked away. There went my initial impression of her being nice, but I took it well – it actually made me chuckle and this quick rejection inspired me to take more action.

Gaining Momentum… and the blonde with the RBF

I did a couple of more sets almost right away, this place was full of cute girls! A blonde smiled at my approach and thanked me, but walked away. A brunette at the wine aisle was staring intently at the wines there, so I went indirect. She didn’t realize that I was hitting on her and walked away, only to come back a second later. I made sure she knew I was hitting on her this time, but she said she drinks the wine with her boyfriend. (Note to self: direct approaches are more masculine and superior!)

And then, there she was – a blonde with a resting bitch face in yoga pants with an amazing ass. My mind tried to make excuses – “She looks mean, she won’t like you approaching her, she seems like a bitch, etc.” I almost chickened out of approaching her, but then she turned around and I saw her piece of art ass again. I had to do it, no matter what! I chased her and opened direct – her RBF immediately turned into a smile! Sarah was very chatty, I guess the fact that she had a resting bitch face scares guys away and she doesn’t get approached too often, but she loved it and was genuinely curious about me. She asked me a lot of questions and the vibe was good, so I naturally went for the number to have a drink. At that point, she said she has a boyfriend, but would have loved to if she didn’t. I believed her – her body language and voice tonality was honest. I wished Sarah a good day and moved on, she enjoyed being approached!

The European Lover

At this point, I felt good and had momentum – I had done four approaches, the last one turned out well, and it seemed like this grocery store was packed with sexy women – what’s not to love? As I was walking towards the wine aisle, I noticed a cute blonde. I opened direct strongly with lots of intent and confidence. Right away, she asked me about my accent and said “I have been to thirteen countries in Europe!” I teased her a bit and then we figured out she hasn’t been to my country. Just as we were vibing and I had a good feeling about this one, her friend shows up and Lauren told me that’s her friend. I acted confidently and introduced myself to her friend, and then they said they had to go! Fuck – if only I could have had a few more minutes with her, at this point we had only talked for about a minute but it was clear she was into European men. I trusted my sixth sense and went for the number, she said “Maybe…” I then pushed a bit playfully and she gave me her number. She did end up texting me back and we had a date setup. So there’s another lesson too: if a girl is into you, it doesn’t matter if the set ends up being too short. I think she only said “Maybe” to my number close because her friend was there, she didn’t want to seem too easy.

Summary

So there you have it guys – if you think a girl looks nice and approachable, she might not be. Even if she gives you an IOI, she might not like you approaching her. And just because a girl seems bitchy doesn’t mean she won’t melt when you approach her like a man with intent. Some girls will also just be into you and even if the set is short for external reasons, she will still want to meet up because you are her type. The way I see it, every approach is Schrodinger’s approach – the girl could either love it or hate it. It is up to you to find out! Let’s look at the data so far:

  • Approaches: 78
  • Numbers: 10

Field Report: The Nurse and the Latina

“If you are not willing to risk the usual, you will have to settle for the ordinary.”

Jim Rohn

The Nurse

I was recovering from an illness and hadn’t approached in about a week. I was pumped from a great gym session when I went to the grocery store to pick up some things. As I was navigating my way through the aisles, a blonde caught my eye and we held eye contact for a second, then she smiled. An IOI, it was on! I had to go after her and found her in the snacks aisle. “Excuse me, I saw you from over there and thought you look nice” I said. She smiled right away and immediately asked for my name. It was on even more! She had hooked right away and was easy to talk to. Ellen was a blonde nurse who was shopping for a party she was throwing next night. I made sure to tease her about it, and we talked about food, travel, and life in general for a few minutes. She asked my name again as I was getting her number, and she put in both her first and last name in my phone when I handed it to her. The rush to approach after a week or so was amazing, and the set was perfect, I was happy!

The Latina… and her phone

The next day, I was at Target after work when my eyes noticed the amazing ass of a Latina almost as soon as I walked in. My feet had a mind of their own and started to walk towards her, she looked so good, I had to approach! I finally caught up to her in a grocery aisle as she had her phone in her hand. I didn’t think much of it and delivered my opener… and she smiled, but pretty much right as I finished, I heard someone start to speak Spanish on her speakerphone. She had just called her mom and she picked up right as I approached, what were the chances? She started talking to her mom and I stood there for a few seconds, then walked away. I thought I had bad luck as I walked away, but thinking about it maybe she wasn’t too interested in me, otherwise she would have found a way to keep talking to me. I did feel like I had a chance if she didn’t get on the phone, but that’s the game – sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. It felt great to be attracted to a girl on a primal level and know you have to approach though!

Married Chicks

I went to a department store after the gym one night and saw a smoking hot fit brunette. I figured I had to approach and did it, she smiled after the opener and said she was married right away, showing me her ring. I was nervous as I walked towards her to approach but I was glad I made it happen, quick rejection is key in growing as a player!

Almost right away after that, I saw an Asian looking chick in yoga pants, she looked good too so I opened her direct as well. She was married too! She was Kazakh and loved chatting, I had to let her go when I sensed she was using it to boost her self-esteem and as validation, she wasn’t interested in anything more. It’s funny how women can stand there and talk to you for hours if you don’t have the balls to show your intent, they love the attention. You have to be the man and go after what you want, otherwise plenty of women will happily waste your precious time.

Summary

I was slowly but surely getting better. I still had a lot of approach anxiety at this point of my journey, but now I made it happen with the really hot women and went after what I wanted, no matter how nervous I was. There were actually times when I weaseled on approaching an OK chick, only to see a hot one a minute later and open her almost immediately. I was happy to see my response to the hot ones, but wanted a bit more consistency and self-confidence when it came to opening other attractive women, as I knew that would make me a better player. Let’s look at the data so far:

  • Approaches: 72
  • Numbers: 9

Field Report: My First Fake Number

“Don’t let the fear of losing be greater than the excitement of winning.”

Robert Kiyosaki

Bookstore Approach

I was at a bookstore walking around trying to find both a book and a cute girl to approach. I saw a girl who had a bunch of magazines sitting on a bench. She made eye contact as I was walking by and I opened indirectly, asking her if she works there since she had all the magazines. Heather said she was trying to find a good one, and I engaged her asking for a recommendation. Talk shortly shifted towards Europe and travel, and she told me she was an Air Force child , 30 yrs old but she looked younger than that. She told me about her love of Game of Thrones, and it was only natural that I asked for her number since I felt like it was a good set. She asked for mine, and I smiled and said let me just take yours. She gave it to me and I didn’t think much of it at that point, I was happy to have a good set and get some digits.

I ended up texting her the day after, stacking on some of the things we talked about during our chat. I got a reply shortly after, and I thought that was encouraging… until I saw what the response is – “This isn’t Heather, you must have the wrong number” Ouch! My first fake number. For some reason I thought it was hilarious! Why didn’t she just say she didn’t want to give me her number? I would have totally been okay with that. However, I am happy to say that this hasn’t happened since then: gotten a lot of flakes after getting a number, but no fake numbers since this happened.

The young-looking cougar

I was shopping at the grocery store across from the gym one night when I saw a blonde that looked like she was in a good shape. I had to take a closer look. I walked towards her and she turned around, she looked good so I had to go approach her. She loved my direct approach and immediately hooked, asked for my name right away and was very flirty. She told me she was in her late 30’s, which surprised me, she looked way younger. The set was around 10 minutes, and I thought I had it in the bag for sure, but when I asked for a number she said she was kinda seeing someone. I felt like she was interested so I kept talking to her and she shit tested me – “I could be your mother!” I didn’t do too well responding to that, I felt like if I had a bit more experience I could have gotten her number. She was definitely interested but probably seeing someone, and I needed tight game to get her to give me her number. I didn’t have tight game at that point, but it was great to have such a long set with lots of flirting and touching. I remember her saying “You look like you don’t have trouble finding someone!” and looked at my arms, that felt great.

Mall Assistant

I was at the local mall and walked inside a store when I saw a blonde working there with a nice ass in weird looking pants. As I was wondering how to open she engaged me and asked if I need help. I told her I am looking for a gift for my mom, then we talked for a bit. She told me she does underwear and couldn’t help me too much there, so I joked that I am looking for a new bra since my chest is getting bigger after working out so much. She laughed and we then started talking about the gym, and just as I felt like it was going somewhere her older coworker came back. I kept talking to her and engaged her coworker a bit, but she wasn’t going anywhere. I felt like I had to go for broke – I asked for her number. She said she has a boyfriend, and I was on my way. I thought it was a good set and if her coworker wasn’t there I might have gotten her number. That’s the way it goes sometimes!

Summary

At this point, I was almost two thirds done with my first 100 approaches. There were a lot of new experiences for me – this time it ended up being a fake number. I felt like my game was getting better, as I was having longer sets and getting better responses. Every approach felt like a challenge at first because of approach anxiety, but once I was in set and it started going well I was more confident. Sets after the gym were especially good, as the testosterone was kicking in and overriding anything else. Here are the numbers:

  • Approaches: 65
  • Numbers: 8

Field Report: My First Big Fiasco

“Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.”

Winston Churchill

“I am married and you’re being…”

I was walking around Walmart while waiting for the tires on my car to be changed (for those of you that have ever done that at a Walmart, you know it takes forever) – but I didn’t seem to mind – I could do a few cold approaches while there! My first approach was a super cute slim blonde who was very receptive at first, but quickly transitioned into telling me she just got out of a relationship yesterday. The emotion in her voice made it clear – she wasn’t making any of this up, she almost broke into tears right there while talking to me. I tried to keep it light hearted while giving her a few words of encouragement, then moved on. I did a couple of other sets later with not much success, and then it happened.

I saw a chick with yoga pants, and for some reason my mind decided to deviate from my standard direct opener and tried improvising. As she was coming towards me, I said “I like your… yoga pants!” No, I am not kidding. She said “Thanks” awkwardly and walked by, and I was thinking to myself “Did you really just say that?” I was kicking myself for that, and thought if only I could get a second chance I could do a lot better. So guess what I did when I saw her around later? That’s right, went straight to her, approached from the back(!) and at that point, she said “I am married and you’re being creepy!” That stung for a second, but then I realized that you know what? She was right. So I made myself a promise: never approach again – if it doesn’t work out the first time, keep moving and find new prospects. In the words of Biggie Smalls – “I don’t chase ’em, I replace ’em!”

Rebounding

A few minutes later, I saw a blonde who was eyeing me up as I walked towards her, so I had to open. She loved the attention but told me right away she was there with someone, still kept talking to me for a bit though. As I walked away from her, I felt like that was a good way to rebound, and I was surprised at how little the previous approach affected my emotional state. I knew what I did wrong and I was determined to get past it.

A couple of days later, I was at the local grocery store when I saw a cute slim brunette. I opened direct and she immediately hooked by asking for my name, my stack about her working out was correct and the conversation flowed from there. She had just moved to the area from down South, and was super talkative, asked a lot of questions about me. The number close was easy and natural, as I walked away from that set I was on a high about how much my game was starting to improve!

Summary

If you learn nothing else from this field report, remember this: focus all your energy on making the first time you approach a girl good, and if you don’t or she walks away, don’t approach her again. It’s her loss – focus on approaching the other three billion women you haven’t approached yet. Having said that, I have approached around 200 women since that happened, and it has never happened again. As long as you are socially aware, things like that shouldn’t happen too often, so don’t worry about it too much. Beginners tend to sweat things like this a lot and worry about them, but it’s simply not worth it – it is much more common to make a girl’s day when doing daygame cold approaches.

At this point of my daygame journey, I was a bit over halfway done with my first 100 approaches. My number to approach ratio was exactly 1:8 as you can see below.

  • Approaches: 56
  • Numbers: 7

Field Report: Three Numbers in Four Sets

“I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.”

Thomas Jefferson

Gym Chick at Target

I was shopping at Target on Sunday, had been there in a while and didn’t see any good sets. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a girl walking, and then I looked at her. I realized I had seen her at the gym the day before, but she wasn’t a regular. I had to go over and talk to her – I am not one to approach at the gym since I go a lot, but seeing someone in a store I thought was fair game. I approached and said I knew her from somewhere, she didn’t seem know, but once I said the gym maybe she remembered me, which was a good sign. Chat was pretty good with good jokes and spikes, and she said “Why not?” when I asked for her number so we can go for a drink. I felt like it wasn’t my best game, but good enough to get her number, and we ended up going on a few dates actually. I had another approach shortly after while I was still on a high, and that went nowhere.

Post-gym success

A couple days later, I was at the grocery store after a good session at the gym. I had a quick chat with one of my neighbors who I saw there, and right after I did that I saw a cute black chick standing by the toothpaste. I opened indirectly this time about toothpaste, and I realized she was on the phone through her headphones when I opened. You know what she did? She said “Hey mom I will call you right back” and talked to me! I was thinking to myself this is great, she is totally into you. Teasing and conversation flew naturally, she was asking me a decent amount of question and investing a lot, even asked me where I live. Number close was easy, and I walked away thinking “Damn, she hung up on her mom to talk to me, this is crazy!”

Shortly after that, I saw a cute slim blonde girl. I made a comment about her tattoo and she said thanks, then we started a conversation. She was very dreamy and said her tattoo represents space, which was a bit weird and I teased her for it. She was one of those girls who asked for my number when I asked for a drink, but my frame was strong enough to get her number after that. Convo wasn’t too strong so I thought she would flake, but she actually did text back for a bit, she was super flaky though and anytime I tried to get her out she would have an excuse. I moved on to other girls, don’t have time to waste!

Summary

Below are the stats at this stage of the 100 approach challenge. If you remember my last field report, you know that I had gotten only 3 numbers from my first 42 approaches. Well, here I got 3 in 4. Daygame is super random – those 4 sets weren’t really my best, but sometimes a girl is into you and will give you her number even if you mess up a few things as long as your intent is there. So if you’re going through a tough time, keep approaching and that will change!

  • Approaches: 46
  • Numbers: 6