Visualization and Its Benefits For Daygame

“Proper visualization by the exercise of concentration and willpower enables us to materialize thoughts, not only as dreams or visions in the mental realm but also as experiences in the material realm.”

Paramahansa Yogananda

What Is Visualization?

Visualization is a very polarizing topic. Some people swear by it and credit their success to visualization, while others believe it’s total quackery and nothing beats taking action in the real world. But what is visualization? As this article states “In laymen’s terms, it means recreating all the images, sounds and feelings in your mind surrounding an activity in order to practice in a perfect environment. Just like the small dojo where Morpheus and Neo fight in the movie.” Basically, it means the following – if you want to improve your free throw shooting, you visualize yourself shooting free throws, with the most amount of detail possible. All of us use visualization often – when we remember a certain detail from work or a social event, or when we prepare for the next day and imagine that important meeting we have. Most people, however, can get negative in their visualization, which can lead to negative consequences in real life as well.

What Does The Science Say About Visualization?

Here is what the same article I quoted above says about a free throw shooting experiment: “Australian Psychologist Alan Richardson made a little experiment. He took a group of basketball players, divided them in 3 groups and tested each player’s ability to make free throws.

  • The first group would practice 20 minutes every day.
  • The second would only visualize themselves making free throws, but no real practice was allowed.
  • The third one would not practice or visualize.

The results were astounding. There was significant improvement on the group that only visualized; they were almost as good as the guys who actually practiced.

From this article: “In my meetings with the Soviet researchers in Milan, they discussed government funded athletic programs that integrate sophisticated mental training and rigorous physical training. One study evaluating these intensive programs suggests their potential. Four matched groups of world-class Soviet athletes diligently trained for many hours each week. The training regimens were as follows:

Group I – 100% physical training

Group II – 75% physical training, 25% mental training

Group III – 50% physical training, 50% mental training

Group IV – 25% physical training, 75% mental training

When the four groups were compared shortly before the 1980 Winter Games in Lake Placid, Group IV had shown significantly greater improvement than Group III, with Groups II and I following, in that order.”

Another study in this one: “A study looking at brain patterns in weightlifters found that the patterns activated when a weightlifter lifted hundreds of pounds were similarly activated when they only imagined lifting.  In some cases, research has revealed that mental practices are almost effective as true physical practice, and that doing both is more effective than either alone. For instance, in his study on everyday people, Guang Yue, an exercise psychologist from Cleveland Clinic Foundation in Ohio, compared “people who went to the gym with people who carried out virtual workouts in their heads.” He found a 30% muscle increase in the group who went to the gym. However, the group of participants who conducted mental exercises of the weight training increased muscle strength by almost half as much (13.5%). This average remained for three months following the mental training.”

What Makes Visualization So Powerful?

From “Seeing is Believing” article quoted above: “Brain studies now reveal that thoughts produce the same mental instructions as actions. Mental imagery impacts many cognitive processes in the brain: motor control, attention, perception, planning, and memory. So the brain is getting trained for actual performance during visualization. It’s been found that mental practices can enhance motivation, increase confidence and self-efficacy, improve motor performance, prime your brain for success, and increase states of flow—all relevant to achieving your best life!”

As you may have noted, the studies mentioned above are all done on either athletes, or people who have experience with a skill, like going to the gym. That’s a key aspect of useful visualization – you need to know the task you will be visualizing well enough to be able to recreate it in your mind with as much detail as possible to reap the full benefits of visualization. I’ll give you an example – I have never played the guitar. If I was to visualize playing the guitar, would that be useful for my real-life guitar skills? Probably not, as I wouldn’t even know where to begin and how to make that visualization real. If you ask me to visualize performing a squat or a deadlift however, I have done those movements thousands of times and can visualize getting ready, walking to the bar, and performing the movement with a lot of detail. The more experience you have with something, the more powerful visualization becomes for it. As mentioned above, your brain takes the same mental actions when you are vividly visualizing performing a task as it does when you are actually performing it.

Beliefs have consequences. They influence the actions you take, and every successful person learns to use their mind to their advantage sooner or later. If you are into bodybuilding (and I believe everyone should be, especially if you daygame), then you might have heard of powerlifter Greg Nuckols. Here is an article by Greg called “Unleash Your Inner Superhero” I highly suggest you read the whole thing – go ahead, I will wait for you!

That article reinforces how powerful our minds are, and how we should use our brain to help us achieve success – “Just to rehash the bit about steroids, placebo studies have shown you can get “steroid-like” strength gains from simply thinking you’re on steroids.  In one study, experienced lifters gained 4x the strength in about half the time (100 pounds in 4 weeks, vs. 22 pounds in 7 weeks, across 5 exercises) because they thought they were taking steroids.  In another, national-level powerlifters put an average of 10-12kg (22-26 pounds) on each of their lifts (squat, bench, and deadlift) on the very same day because they thought they were given a fast-acting steroids.  Two week later, when half were told it was a sham, their new strength gains vanished, while those who still thought they were on steroids managed to hit similar lifts again.”

How Does Visualization Apply To Daygame?

I know what you are probably thinking – “this is great, but I read your blog because of daygame and picking up women. How does visualization help me with that?” Like I said above, you need to have a decent amount of experience with the task you are visualizing in order to reap the benefits of visualization. So if you have never approached a girl in your life but think visualizing approaching hot women will be a silver bullet, then you will be wasting your time, as visualization is meant to be a supplement to the physical task done in the real world. If it is not, that just becomes mental masturbation.

However, let’s say that you actually daygame and have a couple of hundreds approaches under your belt (or more). You go out for a daygame session and get a few numbers. Then, there she is: the most beautiful girl you have seen in weeks. Her hair is as bright as the sun, her legs are longer than a flamingo’s, her ass is nice and round like a peach. You take a deep breath… and weasel out of the approach (a weasel is when you talk yourself out of approaching a girl you find attractive for those unfamiliar with the term). How could visualization help here? I have found it’s better for my approaches to be in the moment when I am daygaming. However, once I go home, I write my notes of the approaches in a notebook, and then analyze and write down what I want to improve. This is where visualization can help: close your eyes and return to the moment where you saw the beautiful girl you weaseled on. Use all your senses: remember what she looked like, remember what you heard at the time, what was around you, remember what you smelled. The more vivid, the better. Then visualize yourself walking up to her, strong eye contact, confident body language, deep voice. Visualize opening her, visualize her reaction to you. Words aren’t too important, as your subconscious mind works in emotions and images rather than logic. Visualize how her body opens up to you, visualize how confident you are, visualize the vibe between you two, the sexual tension. Visualize the great eye contact, the eyefucking, the smile on her face.

By correcting your mistakes with visualization, you rewire your subconscious in the way you want it to behave – in this example, you make the correction to approach rather than weasel. If you do this enough times, the next time you see a hot girl you will automatically start walking towards her and approach her. This can be used for any mistakes you find yourself making during your daygame approaches: weak eye contact, bad posture, feminine voice, etc.

Visualizing Daygame During Quarantine

I am writing this blog post during the quarantine, and my state has been under stay at home orders for a few weeks now. Due to pretty much all the venues I usually daygame at being closed (except the grocery store), I haven’t done an approach in over a month now. This is where visualization can help a lot, since most of us are either unable to daygame at all (and miss approaching), or we still try to daygame, but the volume of girls just isn’t there to get a lot of sets in.

Take a few minutes and visualize yourself in the venue you usually approach women (if you approach at a few venues like me, just pick one for each visualization session). What are you wearing? What is the vibe in the venue? What do you see? What do you hear? What do you smell? How do you feel emotionally as you are walking? Try to shut off your brain and imagine all of this as vividly as possible. If you have a few hundred approaches under your belt and daygamed consistently before the quarantine, this shouldn’t be very hard for you to do. Then, focus on yourself, but try to see yourself from outside your body: what is your body language like, how confident are you? Remember, when you visualize you want to see where you want to be, not necessarily where you are with your daygame skillset right now. So imagine yourself walking tall, with a smirk on your face, strong eye contact. Then, visualize your first approach: what does the girl look like? What attracted you to her? How do you walk up to her? How do you stop her? What is your vibe like? How does she react to you? How do you feel as you talk to a woman you are attracted to? Visualize her response, her eye contact, her smile, her feminine energy contrasting your strong masculine vibe. Again: the more detail the better, and the more useful the visualization will be.

You might find this hard at first, and your mind will wander. It is just like meditation: stick to it and before you know it, you will be able to do this for longer than ever and visualize approaching a few girls each time, and each approach will feel different as your brain will get used to visualizing and once your conscious mind shuts off, your subconscious will give you all kinds of details and emotions you never thought possible.


In summary, visualization is a very useful technique to positively train your mind to excel at things you already have experience with in real life. Due to the quarantine, a lot of daygamers are unable to approach in real life, and vivid visualization has been proven to have similar benefits to performing the same activity in real life, given that you have enough experience with it, and you focus on visualizing with as much detail as possible.

Remembrance of Things Past: My Top Lays Before Daygame Part III

“Just as a snake sheds its skin, we must shed our past over and over again.”



This is Part III consisting of my top lays before I started daygaming, and it will be the last part. Here are the links to Part I and Part II. I started daygaming on March 1st 2019, and the two lays described here took place in late 2018 and early 2019, respectively. At this point in my journey, I was already reading a decent amount of the self-improvement posts on the TRP Reddit, and was consciously trying out the different dating advice, trying to figure out which pieces fit with my personality and vibe. Looking back on the lays from Part I and thinking about the lays I will write about here in Part III, it amazes me how far I had come in my journey even before I started daygaming. The lays picked here are similar in a way: both online and both happened fast, but they also differ a bit, and the two girls are also pretty different. Let’s dive into it!

The Chinese Girl From Tinder

I was on a business trip for my work, and I was with a few of my coworkers. We went out for dinner, then another coworker and I went to the hotel gym to do a quick cardio session. We talked and joked around for a bit, then after we were done I went back to my room and was about to take a shower when I decided to check the dating apps I was on, since I got a few notifications about matches. At that point, I hadn’t been with an Asian girl, and up until a couple of years ago I didn’t really find them that attractive. But this girl had caught my eye and she had swiped right on me too: she was 20 years old, brunette and tiny, but seemed to have a nice body with curves in the right places. She responded immediately to my message and after 2-3 messages back and forth, I told her I was here on business and invited her to hang out at my hotel. She responded pretty well and asked me where I was staying, and told me she lived about 10 minutes away. We exchanged numbers and pretty quickly she told me she doesn’t have her car, so I would have to pick her up or call her an Uber. I knew I just had to not fuck it up after that message, and played it cool. I told her to wear something sexy for me, and told her to surprise me after she asked what she should wear. She also asked me if I wear ties, and told me she’s “a slut for men in ties”. I was getting all green lights and she was a definite yes girl, but my escalation was also on point.

She took a quick shower and then gave me her address, and I went to pick her up. I checked the time out of curiosity – from the time we matched to Tinder to the time I picked her up, it was about 70 minutes. She had a cute schoolgirl outfit on – I had a feeling and asked her “You don’t have any underwear, do you?” and she shook her head without saying anything. I liked that a lot – this girl was super horny and ready. The ride back to my hotel was around 10 minutes, and I made sure to grab her body and make out with her at the stop lights. It was around 11 pm on a weekday at that point, so there weren’t that many cars on the road. As soon as we got into the hotel elevator, I pushed her towards the wall and started to make out with her and grab her ass and tits. She was super horny and let out a moan, and was kissing me with a burning passion. This was my first Asian girl, and I was super turned on by her. I discovered she wore a feather butt plug when we got to my room, and that made me even more aroused. She wasn’t as good as I had hoped giving head, but she was very submissive and responded well to choking and spanking. She loved being fucked hard and rough, and had very sensitive little perky tits with surprisingly large nipples for their size. She enjoyed being with me and took my lead while we fucked, which is always a good sign.

After we fucked, I knew I would never see this girl again so we talked about sex in general and exchanged some stories. She told me she is fond of European men – there was a Russian guy that comes in her work and she said “the things I want to do with him!” Apparently, he was 65! Not surprised about it, I dug a bit deeper and she told she likes older guys, and that she is shy about going to bars and clubs, so she hooks up with guys from Tinder a lot, and they are usually older than her, sometimes by a lot. She also told me her slutty school girl outfit she was wearing was bought by some guy, and after teasing her she admitted that guys often buy her sexy outfits. I wasn’t too surprised to hear all that, but it was nice to hear a girl who was super honest about everything we talked about, since she knew she would never see me again.

After I dropped her off back at her place (apparently she lived with her parents during the summer while not in college, and she had told them she was out meeting a friend), I was driving back to my hotel and I got thinking – I had just had sex with a girl a little over an hour after meeting her. I was proud of how far I had come when it comes to escalating with women – I went from almost never escalating unless I was sure they like me to this night, where I went for the lay and made it happen by escalating all the way and making my intentions clear. Yes, this girl was definitely a yes girl for me, but plenty of other guys would probably still have screwed it up. Hell, I would have screwed it up a few years ago probably – by never going for fast sex. I was happy with how far I had progressed, and even though I went to bed around 2 am and had to work early the next morning, I felt great. And you wanna know the funny thing? I don’t remember her name at all…

The Jamaican Girl

I had matched with a girl online – she was black, her profile said she was 21-22, and she looked very slim, a little bit different than black girls I had usually seen. It turned out she was Jamaican, was in my city for work for a few months as a hotel worker, and was bored out of her mind. She suggested we meetup after a few messages as she didn’t know the city or where to go, but I was going out with friends that Friday night, so I told her I would take her out to a good place for a drink on Saturday. She agreed and I stayed until 2 am, so I took the next morning to recover and sleep in and then sent her a message. Miss Jamaica was keen to meet and sent me a couple pics and videos, and her body looked even better than her pics she had online, so I was excited. It turned out she didn’t drive and needed me to pick her up, so I told her to wear something sexy for me and went to pick her up. I had a good feeling about this.

I arrived at her apartment complex and she came out in a dress, looking really good, with her hair made. I could tell she was dressed to fuck, and was pleased to see her curvaceous figure for a girl her size. She got in the car and right away there was chemistry between us, and she gave me a compliment on the way I was dressed so I knew it was on. I was getting turned on by her body and the surprisingly large tits and ass she had for a girl so short, and my brain was already thinking about bringing her back to my place. She told me she is actually 19 when I told her we should go have a drink, and it was raining so my brain already had an idea – let’s go back to my place and hang out and have a drink there. She agreed and we were on our way. It was around 15-20 minute drive so I made sure to keep the convo light, and to her credit she was actually a cool girl so she made it easy. She told me she had a girlfriend in Jamaica after I teased her a bit, and that gave me plenty of things to talk and joke about.

Before too long, we made it to my place and I put some Netflix on. She immediately sat close to me, so it was all looking good. We watched a bit of The Office as I was making my move, and she enjoyed it. We started making out and she was using a lot of tongue and going for it, which is always a good sign. As I was running my hands over her body and we were making out, she got on top of me and we kept making out as I was taking her clothes off. Then, it came: the LMR! It was very weird and unlike anything I had seen before – she stopped kissing me and asked “You would want to see me again, right?” I looked her in the eye and just said “Yes”. And it was over, just like that! We went back to making out, and I got her completely naked. Her boobs and ass were super large considering she was around 5 ft 2 and 110 lbs, but those Jamaican genetics must be good, because she looked great naked, and curvy everywhere a woman should be – I was very attracted as we started fucking. Having said that, she wasn’t that good at sex, and being 19 and bi I don’t think she was very experienced with guys, as she was pretty shy and not open to much, yet she got very turned on when I spanked and choked her. We went for a couple of rounds and then just hung out for a bit more watching Netflix before I dropped her off, since she had to work the next day. She played some Jamaican music for me on the way back, explaining to me what they were saying, since I had absolutely no idea how what I was hearing was English, but apparently it was. I forgot everything she told me about that music genre or what it was called, although I found it fascinating at that time. I never saw her again.

This lay also raised my confidence – this girl was 19, hot, and yet I managed to bring her back to my place right away and we were fucking 45 mins or so after I had first met her. She was very particular about what she liked and spoke with confidence and passion about it, which I appreciated, and she seemed to be smarter than the Chinese girl. But that goes to show you – if a girl is into you and given the right circumstances, pretty much all girls will fuck quick. Even if you think she is smart and usually a good girl. As I was driving home, I felt good that I had made the lay happen but also tired since I was still sleepy after the night out. I went home, ate and then went to sleep early, super tired but also proud of how much progress I had made.


Both the lays described here are with cute girls that were 19-20 and foreign. Both lays happened quickly, even though the girls themselves had different personalities and both seemed shy in their own way. That’s the lesson here: if a girl is into you and you have the balls to escalate and calibrate to her reaction, you can make things happen a lot quicker than you are probably thinking you can. Girls love sex, but society judges them for it, so if you can be discreet and she knows her friends and family will never find out, then all you have to do is make the moves and see how she responds. When I was a virgin, I would have never thought something like that would happen to me, but with confidence and self-improvement all things are possible. Remember – you are the prize, your frame is all there is, and you make things happen as a man!

Remembrance of Things Past: My Top Lays Before Daygame Part II

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”

Soren Kierkegaard


My last post proved to be quite popular and longer than I thought it would be, so I decided to continue the theme and write this Part II describing some more of my pre-daygame lays. In this post, I will talk about three of my lays before I discovered the Red Pill as well, with the first one coming around 2013, and the other two around 2016-2017.

Stacy, the younger coworker

If you have already read Part I of this series, then you probably remember that I mentioned moving to a different state. I was still going to college and started working at a store in order to earn some living money. There were a lot of pretty girls that worked with me (I will mention a couple of them that I didn’t have sex with in a while) and I got along with all my coworkers, so the job was pretty fun. Stacy had started after I did, and I didn’t know that much about her at first. We barely talked for a bit and besides noticing her long brunette hair, she didn’t make much of an impression on me in the beginning. Eventually, we started flirting a bit as both of us were passing by or eating in the break room. She was a teenager at the time, 17 and working to make some money after school. As time went by, she kept flirting more and more with me, but that was fairly common, so I didn’t pay attention to it, I was more standoffish and kept teasing her. Then one day, I was joking with some customers as they were at the register, and she walked by and mentioned something to me (can’t even remember what it was), I responded, and then she wrote her number on a piece of paper and gave it to me. I remember the customers made a comment about it and I made some type of a joke about it, and Stacy laughed as she was walking away. This was my first hint that something might happen between us, and she had just died her hair blonde, which I must say suited her pretty well.

I did text her soon after, and she was responding enthusiastically. I suggested hanging out and going for a bite to eat, and she responded how much she would love that. Looking back on it, she had made up her mind about what she wanted and I had to make sure I don’t screw it up. But I didn’t know that back then. Long story short, I told her I would pick her up at her parents’ place, and she was excited about going out together. I had just worked out and I hadn’t had sex in a bit at that time, and when I arrived at her place, she told me she needed a couple of minutes so she asked me to come in, and told me her parents were gone. Stacy opened the door for me and I saw her wearing a sexy dress. Now this was something that I hadn’t done before I did it here, but luckily my brain was turned off – I just grabbed her in her dress and started making out with her. Looking back on it, having my brain pretty much off at that point helped me a lot – the move came off with a huge swagger and confidence, and she said something like “Oh my!” if I remember correctly. We never really made it out of that house – we started making out passionately, then she led me to her bedroom, and we ended up having sex a couple of times. After we were done, we talked for a bit, and the more I talked to her, the more I started to feel a weird vibe about her. This girl was 17, but something was telling me she was up to no good and full of shit. She also told me she was texting one of the other girls that worked with us, so I had a hunch that people at work might find out about this. Even though the sex was pretty good, when I went home at the end of the night I had this nagging feeling something was off. I was about to find out what it was pretty soon.

What happened to Stacy, you ask? We never hooked up again, even though she did tell me a couple of times at work that she was wearing vibrating panties that day (naughty girl, that Stacy!) I did try to push for stockroom sex, but that didn’t happen. It seems like none of my coworkers found out about us, or if they did they never mentioned anything about it to me in the time I worked there. Stacy was let go a couple of months after we hooked up after not showing up to work again, and then shortly after I kept hearing things from coworkers about her: apparently, she was hooked on drugs and would skip school and work to hang out with anyone who could hook her up with the good stuff. The more I heard about it, the more I was glad I wore a condom. My gut was right again: there was something off about that girl!

The funny thing is, when I look back on my time working there and the girls, the memory of Stacy isn’t that strong, even though we did hook up. There was another girl there – blonde, pretty tall, beautiful with a great body. The first day she walked in, I was like damn! So I had to introduce myself to her. We kept flirting with each other, and eventually she put up a note as we were talking at her counter. It said “Do you want to be my Valentine?” I had never gotten that before, so you wanna know what I said? I panicked and said I will probably have to work… Here I am, this beautiful girl asking me out, and I said that! Like the guys in Britain would say, total chode move. We never went out, and she is now married with a kid on the way. If I had a bit more game back then (to at least say yes to her Valentine date), who knows what would have happened between us?

There was also another girl – she was Southern, had worked for Hooters, and was a model. She was super shy but I could tell she liked me, and we kept finding excuses to talk to each other. Looking back on it, she made it easy for me to get her number, but all I did at one point was get her Facebook (can’t even remember how, maybe she even gave it to me without me asking. EDIT after writing this paragraph: I did look back through my Messenger profile out of curiosity and saw the first message from 2013 – yeah, she added me on FB, so she was the one that probably asked me for my Facebook. Also, I read through our message history quickly – holy crap, my game sucked. I am disgusted by some of the things I wrote back then. I am also disgusted by how many signals she was giving me on Messenger, and how somehow I escalated and pushed to hang out at the wrong times every single time). I was in Europe for about a month one summer and she kept hitting me up, wanting to talk about my pictures. One thing led to another and she told me she can’t wait for me to be back, so we can drink some wine together. I was pretty optimistic, but when I came back I couldn’t get her out, even though she still seemed to enjoy my attention, and one of my coworkers even told me she was asking about me when I wasn’t there. Looking back on it, my game wasn’t aggressive: I did initiate, but I felt like making a move on coworkers wasn’t good, so I just waited to see what would happen. These girls were definitely giving me signals, but I didn’t go for the number, and I didn’t go for the drink. Now that I think about it, it was super easy to do: there were plenty of times where we got off at night at the same time, and I could have asked both girls for a drink after work. But I didn’t. And that memory of my bad escalation is much stronger than the memory of me hooking up with Stacy. Funny how our minds work sometimes, isn’t it?

Sarah, the Ginger from Tinder

Once I moved to my current location for my job after graduating, I started to use online dating. I was in a relationship for about a year with a girl I met online, and after we broke up I was in a bad state of mind – relationship went downhill fast, and I had blamed myself for it, even thought looking back on it, I should have ended it sooner, and that breakup was actually blessing in disguise. You live and you learn. Shortly after that, I started using online dating again, and I started talking to a ginger girl who seemed to have a nice body on Tinder. Her name was Sarah and she was definitely invested in the early conversation, so I moved the conversation over to Snapchat. She lived around 45 mins away from me, but was always very quick to respond to my Snaps. One thing led to another, and we were trading nudes fairly frequently. We kept chatting and talking about meeting each other, but I was working and she was going to school and working, so I believe it took us a couple of weeks before we had something set up. Throughout that time, we kept sending pics so there was never a reason for me to believe we wouldn’t meet. She told me she really liked rough sex so we talked about how much we are going to have, and I told her I will spank her ass red and use her for my pleasure. She loved it and eventually, we setup a day when she would come over to my place. There was no pretending, and this girl knew exactly what she wanted and what she came over for. She was shorter than me, beautiful long red hair, huge ass for her frame, and perky little tits. I put her over my knee and spanked her hard until I made her ass red, using baby oil to make it shinier. She also loved giving blowjobs and I facefucked her! We also ended up having sex a few times, including once in my shower. She was insatiable and both of us had a great time, and when I sent her home next morning she told me she would come back. Funny story: she told me on the phone her roommate apparently saw how red her ass was when she wearing shorts and asked her about it, and she got shy and made up some story, rather than tell her she hooked up with a guy. Her roommate probably knew though, girls are smart when it comes to shit like that. We kept in touch but I went to Europe for a few weeks in the summer shortly after we met, and then we stopped talking and we never met up again. This hookup did enforce in my mind how much women love being dominated, and I was definitely a different guy from the story described above: I was more comfortable being rough in bed and going after what I want, which I believe was enforced by paying more attention to my workout routine and nutrition with every passing year.

Ciara, the blonde with a huge ass who had a boyfriend

This story is one of my favorites (it happened a couple years ago), because it shows me how far I had come. I went from having girls who were definitely into me making it easy for me and I still managed to screw it up somehow, to being able to intelligently tell that a girl was into me even though she had a boyfriend, and have enough game and confidence to seduce her and kept her attracted to me to the point where she would rather talk to me on the phone than her boyfriend. It’s an interesting story of how we first started talking too, so let’s dive into it!

I was hanging out with a friend of mine who had just bought a house, and we got talking. He was a nice guy and makes good money, but he is the super shy type of guy who never gets laid. He was talking to me about online apps, and told me about a confessions app he was on for a few days and showed it to me. It looked interesting enough and sparked my curiosity so I decided to download it and see what it was about. I read some of the confessions and it was interesting to see what girls would admit: lots of red pill truths on there too. There was a Nearby section, and one girl was saying how she was super mean. I followed up on that and her responses were pretty long, so I was interested to see what she looks like. She did send me a picture and then I sent her a pic of me, since she looked good. She was a blonde with green eyes, looked pretty cute from that initial pic. Then, she asked for a pic of me and as I sent her one, she told me “Well, I have a better pic than that” referring to her original pic. She then send me a couple pics, including one of her licking one of those penis lollipops you buy at Spencers. Alright then, it was on! Shortly after, we transferred to Snap, and before you know it, she sent me a pic of her ass too. I had to do a double take on that: she had a huge white ass, it looked too big for her waist and frame in general. I knew what I had to do. I found out she was 19 about to turn 20, she told me she had a boyfriend but didn’t seem too enthusiastic about it. At one point, we started talking on the phone, and I was able to quickly get things sexual on the phone and she loved it. I found out she was a preacher’s daughter too, and teased her about being a rebel and naughty. Soon after, she kept calling me almost every day, and things kept progressing to where I told her to come down and see me (she lived about 30 mins north).

With work and living with her boyfriend, it took me a while to get her to do that, and she kept saying she was shy, but I could tell by her voice she wanted to do it, she just needed someone to be forceful enough to get her to do it. She also loved when I told her what to do on the phone, and loved to tease me, knowing she would submit to me anyway in the end. Eventually, she made the drive and we went to an amusement park. Apparently, she told her boyfriend she was going with a girlfriend of hers. You probably can figure out what happened – we kept going on rides, she was holding onto me at times, we made out, and then after a couple of hours we went back to my place. I loved spanking that big ass of hers and doing her doggy, and she loved giving me blowjobs and being submissive. She loved being told what to do and obeying, I loved her youthful energy. At one point, her boyfriend called and Ciara answered. For whatever reason, I was super horny at that time, and as she was talking to him, I put my cock in her hand and had her jerk me off as she was on the phone. She was into it and then I told her “You loved it, didn’t you?” when she hung up. She did. I was proud of how long I had come and how sexual I was now, to the point of doing something like that ad hoc with the idea coming to my head at that moment.

She went home that night, but we kept talking on the phone. It went to the point where she would take a walk at night when her boyfriend was playing video games so she could talk to me. She started to open up to me and tell me she loved how I treated her, and how I would tell her what to do: her boyfriend wasn’t like that at all. Her cousin was the only one she told about me, and she loved having that secret. Ciara did come over a few more times to my place, and each time we kept doing more and more, and she would submit to me and do as I say each time. I must say, it’s a glorious experience: having a young sexy teen girl at your apartment, and having her do everything as you say. I think it’s something every guy should experience. That was the first girl that I made call me daddy, and she loved it. I must say I enjoyed that a lot more than I thought too, and I still make younger girls call me that when the mood is all sexual. Ciara would make the drive to see me whenever she could, and one time as we were laying down after sex she even called her boyfriend to tell him she was staying with her cousin – and her cousin, who was apparently a huge slut, would back her on everything. We fucked a lot that night, and I kept thinking how guys really need to see this side of women to know why you should always improve as a men – she was joyful, sexual, submissive, craving me without any pretending. I didn’t know anyone she knew, and no one except her cousin would know about me ever. She loved that anonymity and loved the sexual energy we had together.

What happened to Ciara? She broke up with that boyfriend a couple months after (huge surprise, right?) and started dating someone else, and as we kept talking I could tell she was into the new guy more and wasn’t into me as much, so I backed off a bit for a few months. That worked and she snapped me as soon as they broke up, and she came over again. That was the last time I would end up seeing her though – I discovered she deleted me off Snap when I came back from Europe after a few months had passed. I thought I knew what happened, but a few months later I got curious and called her. She told me she was pregnant and in a serious relationship with a guy, and that she couldn’t talk to me anymore. I understood and expected something like that – she did tell me that she had done things with me she hadn’t done with anyone, and I believed her. It was one of those beautiful sexual experiences that the younger me would never believe could happen. Opposites do attract – and if you as a guy get in touch with your dominant side, then submissive girls will do anything to please you once you get them attracted.


Originally, I intended all of this to be one blog post, but as I wrote about each girl, my mind kept remembering more details and it now looks like I will write a Part III as well. That will focus on some of my lays pre-daygame but after I found out about the Red Pill. Here’s a little preview: I will talk about one of my Tinder lays when I was on a work trip and had sex with a young college girl about 70-80 minutes after I sent her the first message on Tinder. Stay tuned for Part III!

Remembrance of Things Past: My Top Lays Before Daygame Part I

“Study the past if you would define the future.”



This is a blog post I have wanted to write for a while. It was inspired by this post by Redpilldad, which describes his first pick-up lays before starting his blog. It got me thinking about my own lays before I started daygaming, and I realized that there are a lot of good stories I can write about: before starting daygame, I have had around 20-25 lays from social circle and doing online game for a few years. Looking back on some of them, I realize how little game I had in some instances, but it didn’t end up mattering: a lot of the time, as long as a girl is into you, you can mess up everything but escalating over time and you would still fuck her. That is something that I learned early – you have to shoot your shot and go for it, even if you think the girl is not there yet. Often times, especially if you are new to game, it will surprise you how soon a girl will fuck you if you lead her towards it. I will try to keep these in chronological order, as well as write down a few notes/observations about what made the lay interesting.

My first lay in America: the half Latina with a great ass

I am starting with this lay because it has so many great stories and lessons in it. Up to this point, the couple of lays I had were pretty usual teenage lays, super boring and nothing to write about. But this one was different: I was in college in the US, miles away from any family I had. I was working a part-time job to make ends meet, but I noticed I was getting attention from all the women there after I started. Looking back, it made sense – I was new and shiny. There weren’t too many Europeans in that part of the US, and I was young, ambitious and good-looking. I was skinny compared to the way I have build my physique by working out now, but even without being super fit I could tell girls were into me, and sometimes they were pretty open about it too. One of the girls, Carla, I had noticed as soon as I started: she was half Latina half white, pretty short brunette, but what made her great was that ass. She had a nice round ass, the type that made you want to grab it and have fun with it. She was super friendly and we worked together a lot, and I found out she had a boyfriend and two kids. In my mind back then, that meant she was off limits, but we would occasionally flirt and I could tell she liked me. Carla was a bit older than me – I was 19 at the time and she was 22.

There was another Mexican girl that worked with us, Jimena – she was my age (I am mentioning Jimena because she is very, very important to the story!) We went to the same college, and I could tell she liked me too. I had a lot of fun at my part-time job knowing it had nothing to do with my field and it was just a side job for money, and getting along with everyone made me popular: Jimena was also flirting with me when we worked together, but she also had a boyfriend – an Arabic dude who was super obsessed with her (he is also important to the story, as you will find out when I write about the next lay). I would see Jimena at school every once in a while and we would stop by and talk, and eventually we exchanged numbers and would text here and there.

Pretty soon, I started to work a lot with Carla, and we got to know each other better. I had just started to workout and was telling everyone how much I enjoyed it (even though looking back, I realize I was making a ton of rooking mistakes) and how good a workout made me feel. Carla would always laugh and flirt when I talked about the gym, and eventually she started telling me that her boyfriend was playing video games all the time. I was pretty cocky and made fun of it, and she loved every second of it. As we got closer, she even started mentioning how she thinks he watches porn a lot, because he wouldn’t want to have sex with her after she came back from work. I wanted to fuck her, but my game wasn’t that good and I had no idea what to do about the fact that she had a boyfriend, so flirting at work it was – I felt like she was off limits, even though I knew she was into me.

Going back to Jimena – eventually, she broke up with her boyfriend, and when we worked together we would flirt more and more. We started texting each other more, and eventually started hanging out at school – she introduced me to a couple of her Mexican friends as well (one was smoking hot!) At some point, he mentioned that her ex-boyfriend was a virgin and wanted to keep pure for her and marry her. I called him a loser with a smirk on my face, and she loved it. School was going well, and I was getting attention from multiple women – I felt good and it was showing. Jimena and I were hanging out together a lot, even though she hadn’t accepted my invitations to come back to my place (yet!)

Now here is the kicker (and I found this out later) -apparently, Jimena mentioned to Carla that we were hanging out, and apparently teased her about it, since she knew Carla liked me too. Carla lived a few houses away from the house I was renting at the time, and since I didn’t own a car sometimes she would give me a ride home when both of us got off work at the same time. A month or so before this had happened, she was dropping me off at my house and we just stayed in the car talking. We exchanged numbers in case I needed a ride, and I could tell that she was expecting something. But I didn’t have the game to pull it off: I kept thinking about her boyfriend and kids, and I didn’t pull the trigger.

What did Carla do once she found out Jimena was hanging out with me? Well, apparently Carla was super competitive behind her mask of being super sweet. She texted me one Friday night, asking me if I was off work – she worked earlier that day and knew roughly what time I was getting off. I told her I was at my house, and at that time I was also texting Jimena, who was asking me a bunch of questions trying to get to know me – at that point, having almost no game, I was happy she was giving me attention and things between us were progressing, but not too fast. And then, as I was texting both Carla and Jimena, Carla sent me something like this: “Can I come over so we can fuck?” I was like holy shit – I had never really gotten a message this forward from a girl before! I got two messages from Jimena right after that, and my inexperienced mind thought that somehow they were on it together… (as I said, later I found out Jimena made fun of Carla that she was winning my affections, and Carla did what she felt was right at the moment to win – she tried to fuck me). You wanna know what I did? I sent a text saying something like “come over and let’s talk”. Yes, I am serious. Then, she sent “not to talk, to fuck”. I am cringing just writing this, but long story short – Carla came over in a jacket with a super sexy night gown underneath, and once I saw her in it everything went smooth -I fucked her hard and she loved it, and I made sure to nail her doggy to spank and enjoy her magnificent ass. After fucking her for a bit, I asked her to suck my cock and I kid you not, she said “No! That cock is dirty, Jimena has sucked it already” Apparently fucking me was okay, but giving me a blowjob wasn’t because Carla thought I had already fucked Jimena – gotta love girl logic! I smiled and assured her she hadn’t, and then she had a huge smile on her face. She sucked my cock for a bit and then I sent her home after I came – she was super worried and told me she waited for her boyfriend to fall asleep and then immediately texted me to fuck – gotta give it to her, she did everything she could to fuck me, and I needed it, my rookie game wasn’t good enough to take the small chances I had with her. Next morning at work, she was super giggly and happy, and apparently her boyfriend was still sound asleep, having no idea what his girlfriend had just done. We became fuck buddies for a few months until I moved to a different state, and eventually she let me fuck her ass – I still remember how great I felt fucking her asshole doggie style and enjoying the awesome view. By the end of our romance, I did pretty much everything I wanted to her, and both of us loved it – she told me repeatedly she wasn’t getting it rough and long enough from her boyfriend, and she loved my passion and youth. We were a great match sexually and I learned a lot about women and feminine energy from her.

There were a lot of lessons learned from this one for my young 19-year old self:

  • Beautiful women compete for men. I could tell Carla liked me, but as soon as she found out that Jimena and I were hanging out more and more and Jimena bragged to her about it (apparently she was a bitch to Carla about it too, as Carla was telling me later after one of the times we fucked), so Carla decided to take matter into her hands and straight up offer to come to my place to fuck me. Even if your game isn’t smooth, having more than one woman compete for you can make it super easy for you to nail both
  • Don’t let your guard down – apparently, Carla’s boyfriend was the guy who had all the parties at his house during high school (she never went to college), and naturally they hooked up, as beautiful women are attracted to guys with high status. Then they had kids, and apparently her boyfriend was unemployed making some income by selling weed, but he played a lot of video games and apparently had no desire for sex with her most of the time, and I could tell she was frustrated by it when she was telling me about it. Having someone with a lot of sexual energy like me was welcome for her, and she loved how sexual I always was with her – she loved being treated like a sex object before returning home to her boyfriend and kids
  • Looks can be deceiving – I thought Carla was flirtatious, but I also thought she was a good girl who loved her boyfriend and kids and would never do something like that in a million years. Boy, how stupid was I! She loved rough sex, she loved anal, she loved giving me blowjobs – she just loved pleasing me in any way possible. One time I told her I wanna fuck her ass (before we had anal for the first time), she said no – then next time she came ready and told me I can fuck her ass today. Another time I teased her for not shaving her pussy and told her to come back clean shaven next time, and she did. If a woman is into you enough, she will do whatever you want just to please you

But What Happened to Jimena???

You are probably thinking to yourself – yes, he nailed Carla! But what about Jimena??? Well, long story short, I nailed Jimena too, and that story ended in a completely different way compared to how great everything was between Carla and I all the time until I moved to a different state. So let’s dive into it and see what happened between Jimena and I!

I could tell she was a bit shy about hanging out at my place after I suggested it in front of her friends. Both of her hot friends were shocked that I had the balls to ask that in front of them , as I could tell by their grins and looks at Jimena. Looking back on it, I failed to isolate before asking so I likely pushed sex back a bit with that move, but at the time I didn’t care, I was finally becoming more confident making moves quicker and not waiting for things to happen. Eventually, her brother would give me rides back to my house, and then we would end up falling asleep talking on the phone. I still hadn’t fucked her. Then, one day at work we were having lunch together and I mentioned once again that she should come over so we can hang out, and this time she actually said yes -I had gotten her warmed up to the idea. She had her brother drop her off at my place after work one day when I was off, and we hung out at my place. We fucked, but the sex wasn’t that passionate – even though on the surface we seemed like a great match, the passion and excitement I had every time Carla came over just wasn’t there (and yes, I was fucking Carla during this time too). Jimena and I kept going out for a few more weeks and fucking, but eventually we drifted apart and broke up on good terms – we still worked together and all was well, nothing was weird. Eventually, she went back to her ex, and I kept teasing her about it and making fun of him for waiting to have sex with her. Once I moved, apparently Carla couldn’t contain herself and told her that her and I were fucking for months – Jimena sent me an angry text that contained a pic with her current bf, mentioning how this is what true love is and how much of an asshole I was. I left that bitch on read, and we have never talked since then… (Same is true with Carla as well – once I moved, we haven’t contacted each other at all.)

Lessons Learned:

  • Sex is super important – on the surface, Jimena and I seemed like a much better match than Carla and I. Jimena was my age, educated, smart, ambitious, independent. Carla was older, not very smart, had a boyfriend and kids. But to this day, Carla remains one of the most passionate woman I have ever fucked – the sex was unbelievable each time, there was so much passion and attraction between us that both of us were loving pleasing each other. Jimena, on the other hand, was super boring in bed, and sex with her felt more like a chore to get over with than rough, passionate sex. No wonder we had to break up pretty quickly
  • Don’t be that guy – Jimena’s ex (and then current bf after we broke up) was a typical nice guy – Arabic, ton of money, but fat and virgin who loved her so much and put her on a pedestal, and wanted to marry her and then have sex with her. Jimena’s friends loved when I made fun of him and laughed a lot. Jimena looked at me like she upset when I made those jokes, but she had a smile on her face and loved that I had the balls to talk like that about her ex. Looking back on it, I am sure it turned her on and got her to fuck me quicker than anticipated, as she had only been with one guy prior to fucking me, and even though I felt like things between us progressed slowly, she was just one of those girls who wasn’t super sexual and made guys wait to sniff the pussy

But Wait, There’s More!

I just realized that I remember the lays above in more detail than I thought, and thus this blog post will likely become too long if I write about some of my other lays as part of this post as well. Stay tuned, part II of my lays before daygame will be coming soon!

Tinder Game: My Friend’s Experience As A Model

“In order to succeed, we must first believe that we can.”

Nikos Kazantzakis


I have been quite busy lately, and haven’t written a post on here in a couple of months. With work, working out, approaching, and hanging out with friends, there was a lot going on. But now with everything shutting down due to Corona, I have a bit more time to write. I was hanging out with a friend of mine who I hadn’t seen in a while. He is a model, and we were catching up about our lives, sharing stories that had happened to both of us. He told me about getting on Tinder as he had moved to a new city, and I was naturally curious so I asked him to share his experience. In many ways, I expected what I was about to hear, but it was also eye opening. I thought it was amusing that he was almost as amazed at my daygame stories as I was with some of his Tinder stories, but we will get to that soon. I have also started using Tinder over the last week due to almost everything shutting down around here, so I will share some of my experience as well towards the end of the article.

Tinder as a Male Model

To give you some context, my friend had done some modeling for a couple of years in both Europe and the US. He recently moved to a new city for work after getting out of a long-term relationship, so he had gone on Tinder and was on there for a few months. He told me he got over 100 matches in the first day he was on there, and often had girls messaging him first. I was wondering how some of those girls compared to the average girl I had daygamed, so I asked to take a look at some of his messages with his matches. It was quite interesting: there were very cute girls messaging him first, and he barely had to do much in order to get them to meet up with him. His game is basically a good looking guy game: he knows women want him, and he uses that to his advantage. Nothing fancy. There were girls basically making sexual comments about his pictures, playing along if he made sexual comments, offering him Snap/number right away, etc. Even though he was getting so many matches and with some really cute girls, he told me that some girls would still flake when it was time to meet up. Despite that, he showed me a few of the girls he had hooked up with while I was looking through his Tinder: depending on your taste, there were definitely some girls who could be considered 7’s and 8’s, maybe even 9’s.

Tinder in Detail

I shared that with him to get his thoughts: how online dating is conceived as not having top quality girls. What he then told me actually surprised me: he said that a lot of girls he works/has worked with have been on Tinder, but stay on there for a very short amount of time. Most of them are in LTRs and when they get on there, they are just overwhelmed with the attention. He told me of one of model friends who shared that she had 1000s of matches in just a day or two, and had to deactivate her account. I asked if she had hooked up with anyone from there, and while he said he was uncertain, she did tell him she had a couple of dates.

I thought about this after we had met up, and it makes sense: I think it’s a myth that really pretty girls don’t get on Tinder/Bumble. Nowadays it’s so ubiquitous that almost every girl has tried it at least once. However, the super pretty girls get so much attention so fast that they don’t stay for long. If you couple that with Tinder’s algorithm, then unless you are creme de la creme guy, you won’t even get shown to those girls. In fact, even if you are one of the top guys on Tinder, you might not get shown to them unless you pay. But there are 8s and 9s that get on Tinder and have sex on there: it’s just super hard to catch them with Tinder’s algorithm working against guys.

What I noticed about his profile

As a model, of course all his pictures were taken professionally, and it made a huge difference: whenever I had used Tinder, I have always used pictures taken with my phone. Even though most phones have good cameras nowadays, professional model photos will always blow those out of the water. As always, it’s online dating, so being good looking is paramount: my friend told me there was a week where he had a date every week with girls who were so happy that he went out with them that they were practically throwing themselves at him. His bio wasn’t anything special or eye catching, just mentioning he was a model. It seems like that was good enough for him. I did ask him if he felt like matches slowed down after a few days, and he did mention that was his experience as well: it was noticeable, but he was still getting enough matches with high quality girls.

I also saw some examples of pretty bad game: he was making small talk with girls at times, but the girls were hooking and asking him questions, at times even hinting at meeting up. He told me sometimes he would see a girl and feel like she wouldn’t be up for meeting a stranger so fast and assumed she would like to get to know a guy before going out for drinks. I knew he had always met his girls through modeling or social circle so I asked him how it felt to be online: he told me it felt unnatural and weird, like the girls only wanted him for his good looks and sometimes he would go on a date with a girl and end up being disappointed at how shallow she was and how little value she had to offer. He told me he hoped to find a girl he was interested in sooner, and that all of the girls hitting him up on Tinder was actually kind of tiring for him. I had known him for a while so that didn’t surprise me: he was actually a pretty introverted guy in his teens, and modelling changed him a bit but he is still a bit quieter and enjoys a small circle of friends.

As much as I was amazed by his success on Tinder (and how uncomfortable he seemed with it, almost as if he didn’t really care for it), he was equally as amazed with my daygame stories. I had just had my first instadate the week before we went for drinks to catch up (I still need to write a blog post about that story, coming soon!), and he was shocked that I had meet a girl at the mall, started talking to her, and a couple of minutes later we went for drinks together. I smiled and told him I wish I could have his success on Tinder. He told me he wishes he could go up to girls randomly and get them on dates right away. I told him for someone like him, that should be fairly easy to do. Both of us laughed and enjoyed the night together eventually talking about many other topics and catching up like old friends do when they haven’t seen each other. Since this was a couple of months ago, I am sure I have forgotten a couple of things that I noticed at the time, but the above is what I remember about going through his Tinder.

My Recent Experience on Tinder

As I mentioned in the beginning, I got back online reluctantly due to the recent pandemic and everything shutting down. I am nowhere near as good-looking as my model friend, and my pictures are all taken with my phone. However, I decided to post a couple of body pics on Tinder to see what would happen. While I am not getting too many matches, almost all of the girls I match with respond to my first message, and I have been experimenting with being sexual right off the bat. All the girls so far that seemed interested would flake when it came time to meet up: I am not sure if this is due to Corona, or if it would happen otherwise as well. Maybe a little bit of both. I also noticed that I still hate online dating: too much power is in the hands of the girls. I like being the hunter: seeing a girl I like and going up to her, being able to use body language, eye contact, and vocal tone to seduce her. Getting real-time feedback on my skills rather than hiding behind a screen.

How to setup a good Tinder profile

If you are thinking of getting online because day/night game is dead in most places nowadays, here are some suggestions based on everything I have noticed:

  • Take professional photos if possible. I was blown away how good the quality of my friend’s photos were compared to the ones I am using right now. It’s online dating, it makes a huge difference, and if you want the best results then taking your photos with a camera is necessary
  • Be good-looking. It’s online dating, so this is expected. However, I have photos in exotic places which were taken with my phone that girls love, and comment on all the time. If you are not super good-looking, then being adventurous and well-traveled in your pics is also a chick magnet.
  • Don’t expect too much. I can’t stress this enough. Most guys get depressed when they swipe because most of the girls they find attractive don’t swipe on them. I used to notice that happening to me as well, and I had to consciously change my attitude to make sure it doesn’t effect me mentally. Online is for practicing your text game and fast pulls. If a girl doesn’t wanna meet up after a few messages, she is only after your attention and validation. Move on to something better
  • Disable your notifications and don’t get addicted to the dopamine hit of messages/matches. Your time is valuable and you are a man in demand: don’t waste too much time swiping
  • At the end of the day, online dating should be used as a supplement to meeting girls in real life, and not as a crutch. I know times seem tough right now due to the pandemic, but use dating apps to try out your pictures/messages and see what response you get from girls. Remember: girls have all the power on Tinder, and unless you pay, most girls don’t even see your profile due to how many guys there are on dating apps. You are a commodity
  • The light at the end of the tunnel: doing online dating now makes me miss daygame that much more. I still go out a couple times a week and see if there is any sets at the grocery store while I shop during the pandemic, but there have been zero cute girls last week. I am excited to get back into talking to girls in person and starting to create a real connection with real women, rather than hide behind a screen with pictures and a bio.
  • Use online dating to amuse yourself: try new lines, funny and sexual openers, etc. Push for a meeting ASAP so you don’t spend too much validating princesses who were never gonna meet with anyone from online anyway
  • To sum up, online doesn’t give you the ability to work on yourself: to practice eye contact, body language, tone of voice, kino. Daygame and nightgame both give you that, and will get you much more comfortable with fast escalation than doing it thru your phone. So my verdict on online dating is: if you have professional pictures and are getting lots of matches and can get a few dates a week, keep doing it. If you are doing it because there are no other options right now, then do it and see what results you get. However, I do believe that as soon as the pandemic is over, most men will learn more and become better by doing daygame or nightgame. For 95% of guys, online dating will give miniscule returns. Especially in the USA!

Fixed vs. Growth Mindset: Does The Concept Apply To Cold Approach?

“Becoming is better than being”

Carol S. Dweck


Over Christmas and New Years, I had a few days off work and I was visiting some family. I had a book with me as I traveled that I had wanted to read for a while – Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck. Some of you might be familiar with it: in the book, Dweck discusses fixed mindset and growth mindset, tells the reader what they are, and gives examples from sports, business and relationships that prove growth mindset leads to success, achievement and satisfaction, while the fixed mindset leads to unfulfilled potential and amazement with natural ability rather than progression. As I read that book, a thought popped into my head: “How are the mindsets applicable to cold approach and improving as a player?” In this post, I will describe what the fixed and growth mindset are, talk about examples of the mindsets in cold approach, and share my thoughts on actionable advice to take if you want to reach your potential as a player. Let’s dive into it!

What is the difference between the fixed mindset and the growth mindset?

Study the two images above. They describe the differences between the two mindsets in a visual, easy to contrast way. Here are quotes from the book to reinforce what the mindsets are, and how they differ from each other:

Fixed Mindset

“For twenty years, my research has shown that the view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life. It can determine whether you become the person you want to be and whether you accomplish the things you value. How does this happen? How can a simple belief have the power to transform your psychology and, as a result, your life?

Believing that your qualities are carved in stone — the fixed mindset — creates an urgency to prove yourself over and over. If you have only a certain amount of intelligence, a certain personality, and a certain moral character — well, then you’d better prove that you have a healthy dose of them. It simply wouldn’t do to look or feel deficient in these most basic characteristics.”

Growth Mindset

“There’s another mindset in which these traits are not simply a hand you’re dealt and have to live with, always trying to convince yourself and others that you have a royal flush when you’re secretly worried it’s a pair of tens. In this mindset, the hand you’re dealt is just the starting point for development. This growth mindset is based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts. Although people may differ in every which way — in their initial talents and aptitudes, interests, or temperaments — everyone can change and grow through application and experience.

Do people with this mindset believe that anyone can be anything, that anyone with proper motivation or education can become Einstein or Beethoven? No, but they believe that a person’s true potential is unknown (and unknowable); that it’s impossible to foresee what can be accomplished with years of passion, toil, and training.”

How does this apply to cold approach?

You are probably thinking to yourself “That’s an interesting concept, but how can I use this when I pickup chicks?” I was wondering the exact same thing after I finished the book, and have since consciously used the growth mindset to evolve my game and focus on becoming a better player. Have you ever thought or said any of the following things?

  • “I am not tall enough to have success with women”
  • “I am not having success with girls because I am not fit enough”
  • “A chick like that will never go for a guy like me because I am not good-looking enough”
  • “I can’t fuck hot blondes because I am Indian”
  • “She won’t like me because my cock is not ten inches”

Let’s be honest, everyone who has ever approached women consistently has experienced some form of approach anxiety, and has said some form of the statements above to justify not approaching. Well, guess what? Hopefully at this point you realize that all those statements that we use to weasel out of approaching hot chicks are fixed mindset statements: I am not good enough for her, so I shouldn’t bother her. In the fixed mindset world, you are either good enough or you are not, and your brain does a damn good job of sabotaging your success with women by telling you that you are not good enough (especially when you are a beginner overwhelmed with approach anxiety) and you should avoid approaching her because she won’t like you anyway. This mindset leads to lots of failure and frustration long-term.

How to apply growth mindset to approaching

Now, let’s look at these statements and compare them with the ones above:

  • “I didn’t get her number because my eye contact wasn’t strong enough”
  • “Even though I got her number, my body language wasn’t open enough, I can improve that”
  • “She rejected me because I didn’t speak with enough confidence”
  • “I got her on a date with me, but I didn’t sexualize the conversation often enough”

Can you see the difference? While the fixed mindset statements were that the player isn’t good enough, the growth mindset statements above basically all say the same thing: “I got rejected, but I could improve X. Even though I succeeded with that girl, I can still improve Y.” If you adopt this mindset, then no longer are your successes and failures defined by the girl and how she reacts to you. Success is defined by your own progress – if you go out and approach 10 women with the intent of holding stronger eye contact and you get no numbers, yet by the end of your daygame session you hold stronger eye contact, was your session a success? Absolutely! If you go out and approach 10 women with the intention of opening direct each time, yet you chicken out and do 5 indirect approaches but get three numbers which eventually all lead to bangs, was your session a success? No, it wasn’t, because you went out with the intent to make your direct openers stronger, yet you failed to do that.

I know what you’re thinking: “But I got laid three times, how is that not a success???” We as players are often too eager to define our happiness and success by the amount of numbers, dates and notches we get from approaching. Believe me, I am guilty as charged on that, and truthfully I am still working on overcoming that. By defining our success with dates and sex, we effectively subconsciously tell our brain “My happiness is based on whether random strangers will have sex with me. If they don’t, then I must not be good.” If that isn’t an example of fixed mindset, I don’t know what is. Instead, we should tell our brain “My happiness is based on whether or not I am making progress towards my goals. I wanna fuck hot bitches, and I need to improve my eye contact, body language, and dating model to achieve that.” Counterintuitively, if you ignore your number ratios and focus on improving your sticking points, then the amount of dates and sex you have will increase. As RPD told me on Twitter – “Process > results.

Actionable Advice On Growth Mindset

You might be wondering “How do I make sure that I apply growth mindset as a player to improve my game?” Firstly, chase away thoughts about you being not tall enough, not muscular enough, not “anything enough” for women. We all get them from time to time, but they are making it harder for you to get laid with women. You are a man and she is a woman, that is all the reason you need to approach. Am I saying that any guy can be a Casanova? Recall the quote from Dweck above – not anyone can become Einstein or Beethoven (or Casanova), but at the same time you don’t know what your true potential as a player is until you put in years of effort and thousands of approaches. Instead, leave your ego at the door and ask yourself what your sticking points are. Make a list of all of them and prioritize them. Then, pick the top one and focus on it for your next game session and keep going until you don’t think that is your biggest sticking point anymore. Then hit the next one on the list and go on.

For example, let’s say you have trouble holding eye contact with women you approach and that is your biggest sticking point. For your next daygaming session, focus on making sexual eye contact and holding it as you are in set until the girl looks away first. Remember: your session is a success as long as you have made progress on your goal, not as long as you get a number/date/instadate/bang.

Personal Example

I will give you an example from my own daygame sessions this year that show how I have been using the growth mindset to improve my skills as a player. As I said in this Tweet, I had a streak of 21 approaches without getting a single number this year. If this happened a few months ago when I was a total beginner, I probably would have told myself a bunch of the fixed mindset statements such as I wasn’t good enough, attractive enough, tall enough, etc. Instead, I kept my head up because I hit my targets in those sessions – I had some good sets with good stacks, which is what I was focused on. I had noticed that my stacks were getting quite predictable and I was using the same ones too much, so I wasn’t having as much fun when gaming. I improvised and got good reactions out of the girls and amused myself, so even though I didn’t get numbers for a while I knew I was on the right track. And as you can see in the Tweet, I got an instadate after 21 approaches with no numbers after basically talking to the girl for 2 minutes. Progress is not always linear, and if you focus on improving the skills necessary to take your game to the next level, then sooner or later you WILL reach your potential. It won’t be for a while and you will have to work hard for it though!


Fixed mindset is when we believe that we are either good at something or we aren’t, and there is little we can do about what we can’t do. On the contrary, growth mindset is when we accept the fact that our current level does not define us, and our true potential is unknown until we put in years of effort to improve. When it comes to cold approaching, focusing on what you can do and what you have to improve in your sessions will make you a better player, as opposed to focusing on what someone else can do or how the girl reacts. Give the growth mindset techniques described above a try, you will be surprised at how effective they are!

Field Report: The MILF Bikini Competitor

“Fall seven times and stand up eight.

Japanese Proverb


As you know from my previous field report, I was 3 approaches away from hitting my initial goal of 100 approaches. This is the last field report that talks about my last 3 approaches (one in particular), and at the end I will give my statistics for those first 100 approaches. I am thinking about doing a post about what I learned from those approaches soon, so stay tuned! Let’s dive right into the good stuff first though.

The Bikini Competitor

I walked into a department store on a Friday night after the gym, and almost as soon as I walked in I saw her. Latina MILF with an amazing body, she was wearing gym clothes and I could tell she had no bra on. Her ass looked great as well, I knew I had to approach. I felt a bit nervous but I knew I had to go for it, she was easily the hottest chick out of the first 100. She ended up in the kids section so I went over and she actually looked at me as I walked towards her and held eye contact, I smiled and opened her on whether she’s Colombian. She ended up being Latina, and she was very bubbly and had actually just gotten back from Europe, told me she was married with two kids. I had a IDGAF attitude while talking to her so I just nodded and kept talking about fitness and travel, while making sure to touch her while flirting. She started investing more and told me she had actually done bikini competitions and won every one that she participated in, and tried to get me to follow her on IG since she’s a personal trainer on there now. I told her I don’t do social media much and kept flirting and doing kino, she kept bringing up her husband but she was super flirty, and eventually she made a comment about my fitness and grabbed my biceps while I was doing light kino on her shoulder, it was on! I ended up grabbing her number and was ecstatic after that happened, but she ended up not responding. If that would have happened today, I would have recognized the opportunity I had and tried to get her to grab a drink with me that same night, since her husband and kids were still in Europe – but you live and you learn, I was still making great progress. Before I started approaching, I would have never approached a chick like that in a store, and now I was flirting with them, and they were touching me and giving me their numbers. Not bad for progress!

Other two approaches

The other two approaches that got me to 100? Nothing special, so I won’t even mention them here – I will save you and myself the time.


Alright, so when I first started I had horrible approach anxiety, could barely approach, and every approach felt like a struggle. After doing 100, I felt like I was finally able to stop being as nervous, and actually focus on the girl and the connection. Looking back on it now (as of today, I have 291 approaches), I still had a lot to learn and made a lot of mistakes, but I was at the point where I could open more consistently and generate some leads. Here are the final stats for my first 100 approaches:

  • Approaches: 100
  • Numbers: 11
  • Snapchat: 1
  • Dates: 2

Field Report: The Pakistani And The Gym Rat

“The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.”


The Pakistani

I was at my favorite grocery store on the weekend when I saw a dark-skinned girl I found attractive – my gut told me that she’s Latina. I opened her direct and she smiled right away, I stacked on her looks telling her that she looks Latina. She hooked and told me she’s Pakistani, then immediately asked about my accent and where I’m from. In my experience, that is usually a good sign, and I did what I always do: I made her guess. She had nothing, so I teased her about that and told her where I am from. The chat progressed from there, but she wasn’t investing too much in the conversation, and at that point in my daygame journey I still had trouble with calibration. I went for the number after a bit and she offered to take my number. Ouch! I refused and asked for her number, she said I put her on the spot – that was interesting to hear, but I was happy to have enforced my boundaries. She eventually said no and I told her it’s OK and kept moving on. I was happy to do the right thing – giving her my number and never hearing from her again is not my idea of a good time, if she liked me enough she would have given me her number.

Indirect Opener

Shortly after the Pakistani set, I saw a cute slim blonde picking out her pasta for the night. I went indirect and commented on how focused she was on picking her pasta, the conversation then went into generic bullshit. I didn’t have the chance to go direct as we were in a busy section of the store and she walked away before I could make the switch, she did smile when I saw her later, but I have a rule of not approaching a girl in the same session if she walked away. This set only made me more invested in approaching direct and showing intent right away, otherwise it can be hard to make the switch once the conversation develops and goes somewhere.

Chick with flowers

I was at the store for about an hour now, and I had done five approaches – it was a good day and lots of cute girls kept walking in. I saw a chick with flowers in her cart, and remembered what I had read on Redpilldad’s blog about an approach he did where he used the following line – “Why is a pretty girl like you buying her own flowers?” I think my delivery was off as I had to repeat the opener, then she said “Because I can!” and walked away. I don’t think I came across as playful enough here, but the girl also seemed a bit like a bitch.

The Gym Rat

I was almost ready to go home as I had done six approaches and gotten some good convo, but no numbers. I wasn’t really feeling it, but then I saw Alexis. She was cute and in her gym clothes, I had to approach. She smiled at me before opening, so I thought she liked me and I went direct. It turns out she was an intern and had been in the area for a couple of months, both of us had an interest in the gym and we chatted for a bit. She said she’s only in the area for another week when I went for the number close, then she said good to meet you and walked away. If I had a bit more experience here I would have probably pushed it a bit further, but back then I didn’t have the confidence to do so.


This session was interesting because my inner game wasn’t strong and I was questioning myself, yet I had a couple of good sets and some IOI’s. I got no numbers from seven approaches, but looking back on it I was cutting my conversations short and going for the number rather than staying for another few minutes and then number closing after establishing a better connection. You live and you learn! Next field report will detail my remaining three approaches I did to get to a hundred approaches, and I might even write about some of the lessons I learned from those first hundred approach anxiety ridden approaches. Stay tuned for more!

  • Approaches: 97
  • Numbers: 10
  • Snapchat: 1

Field Report: Grocery Store Game

“The real test is not whether you avoid this failure, because you won’t. It’s whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere.”

Barack Obama

Grocery Store Game

I noticed something at this stage in my daygame journey – I was having a decent amount of success in the grocery store after the gym. As I mentioned in my previous blog post, I also found a new grocery store that was full of cute women, so I was excited to game there and get some sets in. I will talk about some of the more interesting sets I did over a one-week period in this field report.

The Blonde Who Was Flattered

I approached a blonde with green eyes who was dressed in all black, teased her about it and got into a good conversation with her. She was very flattered that I opened her direct and her eyes went real big, she repeated that she was flattered a few times during the set. I think I made the mistake of talking too much and not making the set more about her, but overall it was good practice and I was able to tease her a bit. She said she was kinda seeing someone when I went for the number close – I let her go, but if this set would have happened today, I would have pushed a bit more. Back then, I didn’t have the experience yet to know when to let them go and when the boyfriend is genuine, but I am always learning!

The blonde I had to approach

Sometimes, you see a girl that is so your type that all approach anxiety goes away and your legs walk towards her on their own. Well, this happened to me shortly after I did the set above. I saw a tall blonde and gave chase, caught up to her in one of the aisles. Opened direct and she liked it, good talk about music festivals and I made sure to tease her a bit, she was very open to the approach. She invested in the convo but after a couple mins mentioned her husband, I was surprised to hear she is 26 and married happily. I let her go, but this set boosted my confidence and put a smile on my face, I saw a girl I wanted and took the action to make it happen.

Snapchat close and tattooed gym rat

I had my first Snapchat close with a college redhead shortly after this set as well – she had piercings and seemed a bit ditzy, was super talkative and invested in the conversation right away. I asked her for a drink at the end of the set and she said “Maybe, and I had to settle for her snap rather than number. I didn’t have a good feeling about this one and I was right – I never got a response back from her.

Then, I went to the wine aisle and and saw a super fit chick with tattoos. As someone who loves working out, I do appreciate a fit girl, so I had to open! Stacked on her tattoos, but couldn’t get her to stay much longer after we exchanged names, she didn’t seem too interested in me. It was good to see that my approach anxiety at this point in my journey was getting considerably less when seeing the cuter girls, this definitely felt helpful to me.


My first Snapchat close was interesting because I wondered whether it would lead to something. Until this point, I had always gotten numbers and pushed for them, but when she offered me her Snap I thought it would be good to see if I can make it happen over Snap. Well, ever since then, I don’t take Snapchat and go for the number. In my mind, if a girl is interested enough, she will give me her number.

  • Approaches: 90
  • Numbers: 10
  • Snapchat: 1

Field Report: A New Venue And Lessons Learned

“Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It’s quite simple, really: Double your rate of failure. You are thinking of failure as the enemy of success. But it isn’t at all. You can be discouraged by failure or you can learn from it, so go ahead and make mistakes. Make all you can. Because remember that’s where you will find success.”

Thomas J. Watson

The New Venue

At this point in my daygame journey, I was struggling to find more venues where the concentration of cute girls was high enough to give me enough targets to approach. Downtown usually doesn’t have high foot traffic areas, so I had gamed mostly at malls and stores. I was excited to try out a big grocery store in a hip part of town. The demographics were good – lots of 20-somethings lived in the area, it had 3(!!) gyms close by, and a college campus too. I love working out, and I love a cute girl with a nice ass in yoga pants. I had to check it out! As it turns out, I loved it there, and it is maybe my favorite place to game in my area (I was there last Sunday and did 8 approaches). But let’s get back to the first time I was there – and the lesson I learned.

The Nice Brunette Who Wasn’t

As this was a new venue I was unfamiliar with and considering I had 72 daygame approaches at this stage of my journey, I was a bit nervous and had a lot of approach anxiety. However, there were a lot of targets, and I was excited to see that this specific grocery store seemed to be a landmine! That helped with my AA a bit, and I saw a brunette in a dress. She looked super nice, so I felt confident that approaching her as my first set of the day would be great and she will love it! I walk up to her, direct opener – she looked at me weird and just said “I am on my way out!” and walked away. There went my initial impression of her being nice, but I took it well – it actually made me chuckle and this quick rejection inspired me to take more action.

Gaining Momentum… and the blonde with the RBF

I did a couple of more sets almost right away, this place was full of cute girls! A blonde smiled at my approach and thanked me, but walked away. A brunette at the wine aisle was staring intently at the wines there, so I went indirect. She didn’t realize that I was hitting on her and walked away, only to come back a second later. I made sure she knew I was hitting on her this time, but she said she drinks the wine with her boyfriend. (Note to self: direct approaches are more masculine and superior!)

And then, there she was – a blonde with a resting bitch face in yoga pants with an amazing ass. My mind tried to make excuses – “She looks mean, she won’t like you approaching her, she seems like a bitch, etc.” I almost chickened out of approaching her, but then she turned around and I saw her piece of art ass again. I had to do it, no matter what! I chased her and opened direct – her RBF immediately turned into a smile! Sarah was very chatty, I guess the fact that she had a resting bitch face scares guys away and she doesn’t get approached too often, but she loved it and was genuinely curious about me. She asked me a lot of questions and the vibe was good, so I naturally went for the number to have a drink. At that point, she said she has a boyfriend, but would have loved to if she didn’t. I believed her – her body language and voice tonality was honest. I wished Sarah a good day and moved on, she enjoyed being approached!

The European Lover

At this point, I felt good and had momentum – I had done four approaches, the last one turned out well, and it seemed like this grocery store was packed with sexy women – what’s not to love? As I was walking towards the wine aisle, I noticed a cute blonde. I opened direct strongly with lots of intent and confidence. Right away, she asked me about my accent and said “I have been to thirteen countries in Europe!” I teased her a bit and then we figured out she hasn’t been to my country. Just as we were vibing and I had a good feeling about this one, her friend shows up and Lauren told me that’s her friend. I acted confidently and introduced myself to her friend, and then they said they had to go! Fuck – if only I could have had a few more minutes with her, at this point we had only talked for about a minute but it was clear she was into European men. I trusted my sixth sense and went for the number, she said “Maybe…” I then pushed a bit playfully and she gave me her number. She did end up texting me back and we had a date setup. So there’s another lesson too: if a girl is into you, it doesn’t matter if the set ends up being too short. I think she only said “Maybe” to my number close because her friend was there, she didn’t want to seem too easy.


So there you have it guys – if you think a girl looks nice and approachable, she might not be. Even if she gives you an IOI, she might not like you approaching her. And just because a girl seems bitchy doesn’t mean she won’t melt when you approach her like a man with intent. Some girls will also just be into you and even if the set is short for external reasons, she will still want to meet up because you are her type. The way I see it, every approach is Schrodinger’s approach – the girl could either love it or hate it. It is up to you to find out! Let’s look at the data so far:

  • Approaches: 78
  • Numbers: 10