Seeing much, suffering much, and studying much, are the three pillars of learning.
Benjamin Disraeli
Showing Balls To Approach a Hottie
I was at my local grocery store when I saw what was probably the sexiest girl since I started approaching. She was blonde, great body with curves in all the right places. Surprisingly, I went up to her right away and delivered my direct opener – “Excuse me, I thought you look amazing so I had to come say hi!” She asked me how I was, and that is where I started to show my nervousness – I didn’t deliver my answer with much intent or confidence. Shortly after, she said she was in a hurry, and I let her go without asking for a number – going through some of these earlier field reports, I can definitely see where I have improved. I could have made this set a lot better by playfully vibing, stacking and having better body language. Still, approaching such a hot girl so directly felt good! Remember to always assume attraction and make observations!
Some Two Sets
Up to this point, I had only approached girls who were by themselves – my approach anxiety made it hard to even approach those, let alone approach a group of two. However, as I was walking into the mall, I felt in a good mood and told myself to approach two sets if I saw any that looked good. I saw an Asian girl inside a store with her mother, and as I was walking by she looked at me. I went for it and approached her right there – she seemed shocked! I didn’t do a good enough job of engaging with her mother as well, so she stood on the side as I talked to the girl – rookie mistake, but all of us have to go through those. She smiled when I asked her for a drink, but said she was engaged. As I walked away, the mother said something that I couldn’t quite hear – probably how weird I was or how big my balls were, maybe a mix of both!
Shortly after, I saw two girls too late as they passed by me – one of them was smoking hot with a tattoo on her arm. I had to approach her! I turned around and was able to catch up to them inside a store – I walked towards them nervously and delivered my direct opener to the girl with the tat while her friend was right there next to her. Both of them smiled, then my target said thanks… and walked away! At the time, this felt tough, but I know rejections like this have done a lot to thicken my skin and make me better at approaching – getting rejected in a harsher way is better for you in the long-term.
A familiar face, and a salesgirl
If you have read my field report about the first day I ever approached, you probably remember the Latina who was my first ever daygame cold approach. Well, I ran into her on this trip to the mall as well. I had thought about it after the initial approach, and felt that she might have been into me – I should have went for the number! So when I saw her again working, I had to go talk to her again, and she remembered me. We had a quick chat and I showed intent this time – I was definitely getting more comfortable talking to random chicks and escalating! She made an excuse about how she works all the time, and I followed up with saying that I am sure she can find some time if she wanted to. She didn’t seem too interested in me, so I walked away and felt good – I didn’t let her bullshit me too much when I saw she wasn’t too into me.
As I was walking out of the mall, I saw a cute little salesgirl that smiled at me when I was walking in, and she pointed me towards the men’s department. I remembered thinking that she might have been interested in me by the way she kept eye contact when we chatted on that initial interaction, so I decided to chat her up and see where it goes -I had no luck up to this point, so I figured it was worth a shot. After a brief chat and discussing her tattoos, the chat moved towards my accent, and when she learned that I was new-ish to the area she offered to take me out and show me around! My sixth sense was right, she was into me – she did mention her boyfriend as she was writing down her number on a piece of paper for me, so that was a first experience for me. The chat continued about places she had lived in the US and how different they were compared to the Midwest, and then I was on my way. Not a bad way to finish off a day approaching!
A Kazakh girl
I was in my local grocery store again after a hard session at the gym – I saw a cute girl looking at sushi and immediately approached, almost no approach anxiety this time, I was so happy! Tatiana was super happy I approached, she was surprised but very friendly. She was 23 and asked a lot of questions about me early on, she seemed surprised when she learned I was European as well – the set was going super well… until she mentioned she was married when I asked for her number. Even though I didn’t get her number, she liked it and waved at me as I saw her walk by me later on while I was shopping, so this approach helped me get my confidence up a lot, and made me realize that some girls love being chatted up in a confident way.
Summary
Below are the stats at this stage of the 100 approach challenge. As you can see, even though it felt like I was improving with each set I did and my approach anxiety was less and less, I still was doing a lot of things wrong, and didn’t make too many connections – my sets were also pretty short, and I was having trouble following up on the direct opener. The numbers definitely showed that I was having a rough time, I am not a quitter though!
- Approaches: 25
- Numbers: 2
Midwest Daygame 